“Let Me Introduce You to My Gay Dad...”

Lyrics

[JOAN, spoken] No, what? Your dad? Oh my God, are you okay? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] I'm fine [JOAN, spoken] Are you, are you sure? Do you wanna talk about it? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] No, I don't wanna talk about it I don't wanna think about it I want— I don't know Come on, let's go see what's happening at the gay union [JOAN, spoken] Do you wanna go to my room? Smoke a joint? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Yes, I do [ALISON, spoken] Caption: My new found queerness wa— No Unable to process the tsunami-like revelation that my father wa— No Tsunami-like? No Caption: I leapt into my new life with both feet And I blocked out everything that was happening at home [BRUCE, spoken] Oh, where the hell are John and Christian? [HELEN, spoken] John's at Cosgrove's probably [BRUCE, spoken] Why? [HELEN, spoken] Because he works there [ALISON, spoken] I should have been paying attention Caption: I should have been paying attention [BRUCE, spoken] Since when? [HELEN, spoken] He's been working there for almost a month [BRUCE, spoken] Oh f— [ALISON, spoken] And I— Caption: I, I guess I was mad at you [BRUCE, spoken] Oh, where's Christian? [HELEN, spoken] At Doug's probably What do you need? [BRUCE, spoken] Nothing, nothing I'll do it myself [ALISON, spoken] My life had just started to open [BRUCE, spoken] Ow! Damn it! Goddamn it! [ALISON, spoken] I didn't know... Dad! I had no way of knowing my beginning would be your end [HELEN, spoken] Oh my God, the Brimley! Oh my God, what happened? Did it fall? Bruce, the painting What happened? [BRUCE, spoken] I threw it down the fucking stairs! [HELEN, spoken] Why? [BRUCE, spoken] I don't know why... [HELEN, spoken] I don't know why [BRUCE, spoken] Because no one ever fucking helps me around here! Because— [BRUCE, spoken & HELEN, spoken] I cannot stand the sound of your hectoring Shrewish voice (You stop) Your histrionics, your— (You're blaming me) [HELEN, spoken] After what you put me through? I'm on edge Every single— [BRUCE, spoken] Every single person in this town knows what kind of man I am! You're the one with the problem! [HELEN, spoken] I have to be at school, I'll be at meetings until late [ALISON, spoken] I'm drawing, I'm drawing I'm just drawing I'm remembering something, that's all [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Oh my God, I don't wanna go in [JOAN, spoken] It's gonna be okay [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] How is it gonna be okay? Everything's— Who knows? Who knows? Come on in, let me introduce you to my gay dad You know, it's only been three months since I left What happened in three months? Hello? I don't know where they are Hey? We're here [JOAN, spoken] Oh my God [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] What? [JOAN, spoken] You described it, but I had no idea [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Oh, yeah, I guess it's— [HELEN, spoken] Oh, you're here [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Hi Mom