That’s What We Call Love

Song Meaning

Robert DeLong's "That's What We Call Love" isn't a saccharine declaration of affection; it's a clinically detached observation on the anxieties and uncertainties that fester beneath the surface of modern relationships. DeLong dissects the corrosive power of doubt, framing it as an intrinsic element of what society often idealizes. The song's genius lies in its simplicity, using minimal lyrics to paint a vivid picture of insecurity. The verses depict scenes of isolation – a lonely house, a lonely church – settings ripe for the seeds of suspicion to take root. The repeated line, "you were lonely / and you wanted new thoughts," highlights the human tendency to fill voids with speculation, often leading to destructive conclusions. The image of a busy phone line becomes a potent symbol of potential betrayal, fueling paranoia and driving a wedge between partners. The brilliance of the song resides in its relatability; it taps into the universal fear of the unknown within intimate connections. The chorus, a repeated mantra of ignorance – "you don't know who he's calling / and you don't know what he's saying, do you? / And you don't know anything about it" – is the heart of DeLong's message. This deliberate lack of knowledge, this forced acceptance of uncertainty, is what he ironically labels "love." It's a cynical take, suggesting that modern love isn't about unwavering trust, but about navigating a minefield of unanswered questions and suppressed fears. The repetition of "That's what we call love" in the outro hammers home the unsettling truth: love, as we often experience it, is built not on certainty, but on a foundation of deliberate ambiguity.