To Keep My Love Alive

Lyrics

[Intro] I've been married and married And often I've sighed I'm never a bridesmaid I'm always the bride I never divorced them I hadn't the heart Yet remember these sweet words "'Til death do us part" [Verse 1] I married many men, a ton of them Because I was untrue to none of them Because I bumped off every one of them To keep my love alive [Verse 2] Sir Paul was frail, he lookеd a wreck to me At night he was a horsе's neck to me So I performed an appendectomy To keep my love alive [Bridge] Sir Thomas had insomnia He couldn't sleep at night I bought a little arsenic He's sleeping now all right [Verse 3] Sir Philip played the harp, I cussed the thing I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing And now he plays where harps are just the thing To keep my love alive To keep my love alive [Verse 4] I thought Sir George had possibilities But his flirtations made me ill at ease And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease To keep my love alive [Verse 5] Sir Charles came from a sanatorium And yelled for drinks in my emporium I mixed one drink, he's in memoriam To keep my love alive [Bridge] Sir Francis was a singing bird A nightingale, that's why I tossed him off my balcony To see if he could fly [Verse 6] Sir Athelstane indulged in fratricide He killed his dad and that was patricide One night I stabbed him by my mattress side To keep my love alive To keep my love alive