Lewis Carroll - The Mad Gardener’s Song

Lyrics

He thought he saw an Elephant That practiced on a fife: He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife 'At length I realise,' he said The bitterness of Life!' He thought he saw a Buffalo Upon the chimney-piece: He looked again, and found it was His Sister's Husband's Niece 'Unless you leave this house,' he said "I'll send for the Police!' He thought he saw a Rattlesnake That questionеd him in Greek: He looked again, and found it was The Middlе of Next Week 'The one thing I regret,' he said 'Is that it cannot speak!' He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk Descending from the bus: He looked again, and found it was A Hippopotamus 'If this should stay to dine,' he said 'There won't be much for us!' He thought he saw a Kangaroo That worked a coffee-mill: He looked again, and found it was A Vegetable-Pill 'Were I to swallow this,' he said 'I should be very ill!' He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four That stood beside his bed: He looked again, and found it was A Bear without a Head 'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing! It's waiting to be fed!' He thought he saw an Albatross That fluttered round the lamp: He looked again, and found it was A Penny-Postage Stamp 'You'd best be getting home,' he said: 'The nights are very damp!' He thought he saw a Garden-Door That opened with a key: He looked again, and found it was A Double Rule of Three: 'And all its mystery,' he said 'Is clear as day to me!' He thought he saw a Argument That proved he was the Pope: He looked again, and found it was A Bar of Mottled Soap 'A fact so dread,' he faintly said 'Extinguishes all hope!'