This Is What I Do

Song Meaning

The narrator frames a pattern of behavior as their sole occupation, repeating "This is what I do" like a mantra. The opening lines present a series of vignettes: Jennifer as a "racehorse-rider," Heidi "a house on fire," and Bernadette maintaining distance, contrasted with the narrator getting "tangled up in telephone wire." These images suggest a chaotic or intense past, perhaps hinting at past relationships or experiences that were dramatic or difficult to navigate. The core of this self-definition seems to be a recurring theme of departure and distance, as the narrator acknowledges singing "forever about a girl that I once knew / And how she is always leaving." This establishes a cycle of connection and inevitable separation that the narrator seems resigned to, or perhaps even perpetuates. The central tension lies in the narrator's apparent inability to escape this pattern, which they frame as their "living." The phrase "This is what I do for a living" takes on a darkly ironic tone, suggesting that their life's work is this cycle of entanglement and leaving. The narrator contrasts past lives as a "holy roller" or someone who "flew" with their current state of "always kept a distance." This implies a longing for a different existence, yet they remain tethered to their present reality, which is defined by this repetitive, perhaps self-sabotaging, behavior. The "secret rhythm beating like a drum" and the "albatross" suggest an internal, inescapable burden that dictates their actions. The most striking aspect of the craft is the narrator's desperate attempt to manage or escape this internal compulsion. The lines "I could hide it in the attic / I could bury it in static / I could only put it out in Japan" showcase a surreal, almost absurd, range of avoidance tactics, none of which seem truly effective. The final admission, "I am dancing as fast as I can," is a powerful image of frantic, futile effort. It suggests a constant state of motion to outrun something internal, a performance of activity that masks an underlying inability to change or resolve the core issue. This frantic energy, juxtaposed with the resigned repetition of "This is what I do," creates a profound sense of Sisyphean struggle.