New Year’s Eve At The Gates Of Hell

Lyrics

[Verse 1] It's New Year's Eve at the gates of hell Give the Antichrist a cigarette And tell him the boys are here all the way from Oklahoma Oh Lord, what the hell is that aroma? It's Jimmy Perkins and the other sons-of-bitches Who ripped off musicians and they stole their riches They're burning over yonder with the Fox News whores And, oh look, is that the singer for The Doors? Nope, my mistake 'cause no matter what they did Poets deserve to be in heaven; and by the way, kid Why am I here when I wasn't that bad? I just didn't like churches but I never wore plaid [Verse 2] Now I know I'm funky and strip bar dirty And I like a Les Paul through a Vox AC30 There's something 'bout a lipstick pickup Plugged right into a Blond Tremolux I guess I deserve to be burned alive Since I pawned my '59 ES 335 And sure I drank a lot of gin and tonic But I never threw away my Panasonic I kept that turntable through my divorce Playing Neil Young and Crazy Horse Drunk out of my mind singing "Tonight's The Night" It was as lethal on vinyl as China White [Verse 3] Now maybe one time I used an Ouija board And I never learned to make a B-flat chord So I got a double-headed snake tattoo I love Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu The action and the motion of a roulette wheel And a woman walking away in a pair of high heels Now once I drew to an inside straight flush And I wished I could sing like Otis Rush The truth of the matter is I really can't sing But I can quote Martin Luther King His words are stronger than angel dust is "The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice" [Verse 4] Now back to New Year's Eve at the gates of hell It's kinda like the Beverly Hills Hotel If you can get a table next to the fire A sign says "Jacket and tie required" The devil is bad and God of course is good But there's one thing I never understood: God throws us down in hell for all our sins Burning in a fire and it never ends The decision is made at the highest level Seems Got outsources his work to the devil Like he's an employee on the vice squad Appears like the devil is working for God [Outro] I can't believe I said that I'm losing it Did I mention Jimmy Perkins is a lying son of a bitch? Oh, that's good