Mississippi Squirrel Revival

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Well, when I was kid, I'd take a trip Every summer down to Mississip' To visit my granny in her antebellum world I'd run barefooted all day long Climbin' trees, free as a song One day, I happened catch myself a squirrel I stuffed him down in an old shoebox Punched a couple holes in the top And when Sunday came, I snuck him into church I's sittin' way back in the very last pew Showin' him to my good buddy Hugh When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk! [Pre-Chorus 1] Well, what happened next is hard to tell Some thought it was Heaven, others thought it was Hell But the fact that somethin' was among us was plain to see As the choir sang "I Surrender All" The squirrel run up Harv Newlan's coveralls And Harv leaped to his feet and said "Somethin's got a hold on me! YEOW!" [Chorus] The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shouting "Hallelujah!" [Verse 2] Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin' Some thought he had religion, others thought he had a demon And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms He fell to his knees to plead and beg And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg Unobserved, to the other side of the room All the way down to the amen pew Where sat Sister Bertha Better-Than-You Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee But, shoot, you should've seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs She jumped to her feet and said "Lord, have mercy on me!" [Pre-Chorus 2] As the squirrel made laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame She told of gossip and church dissension But the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life And then she started namin' names! [Chorus] The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shouting "Hallelujah!" [Verse 3] Well, seven deacons and the pastor got saved And 25,000 dollars got raised And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot And even without an invitation There were at least 500 rededications And we all got re-baptized, whether we needed it or not [Pre-Chorus 3] Now, you've heard the Bible stories, I guess Of how He parted the waters for Moses to pass All the miracles God has wrought to this ol' world But the one I'll remember to my dyin' day Is how he put that church back on the narrow way With a half-crazed Mississippi squirrel [Chorus] The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shouting "Hallelujah!"