Intro I (Live)

Lyrics

[Intro] Now let me say a little something here, maestro Some domestic details before I do this song Uh, I have, uh, five children I had four boys and a girl, with two different wives Surprisingly, in a switch, my second wife was younger than my first It was crazy And I pay for it every fucking day But, but in any case, irrespective, irrespective of that, God bless her And uh, irrespective of that, uh I had a friend who had the same sort of thing happen He had two, three boys and girl And his wife said if she'd had the girl first She would've thought the boys were retarded And, and there's a great deal of truth in that In that girls don't eat much mud or bump their heads into trees I tell you this 'cause with the first kid we had My wife and I were twenty-two, twenty-three My wife was German And expected them to eat with a fork and unreasonable things like that And so we—and it was in the days of progressive schools So we first tried a progressive school And they sat around on, on, you know, little cots And got lice every couple of weeks And some pothead would explain to you You'd go and say, "You know, he's got lice again You know, this is the third time" They'd go, "Yes, we know, we know" And it didn't work out, sort of We sent him to a stricter school, uh And he came home from one wearing these short kinda brown pants And my wife's eyes lit up a little bit and it worried me But, uh, he went to school, he went to one school Which is distinctive only because it graded so comprehensively Every twenty weeks you'd get a report card That was twenty, thirty pages long, really it was They'd break reading down ten ways and writing and everything And he was six years old And he got, he got D's and F's in every subject But one in which he got an A with an exclamation point And it was: "Meets new situations with confidence" And I'm telling you this because, you know At the orientation of those schools, you know They show you around this mud hut and this, you know, sand pile And they send you home But for my last two kids—fifteen and sixteen The orientation was such a fantastic experience, you know Sociologically and every way just a mind-numbing thing Uh, that I wanted to write about it But so as not to waste a song on something so trivial and domestic I include within this song the reason for the failure of Marxism Uh, it's, it's called "The World Isn't Fair"