Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of a relationship drowning in unspoken pain and a cyclical dynamic of hurt. The opening lines, "Gone to sea / Came back with that memory," suggest a departure and return, but the memory lingers, a persistent weight. The narrator feels disconnected, stating, "You can't count them anyways / We're all the same," hinting at a shared, perhaps overwhelming, experience that renders individual counts meaningless or impossible.
The core tension lies in the repeated phrase, "I keep getting under / You keep watching my heart bleed." This establishes a stark contrast between the narrator's internal struggle and the other person's passive observation. The narrator is actively sinking, "getting under," while the other person simply witnesses the resulting damage, unable to intervene or perhaps unwilling to. The physical manifestation of this emotional distress is palpable: "My heart— I can barely breathe."
The second verse introduces a sense of decay and loss with "Seaside lost / Turns bones to dust." This imagery amplifies the feeling of irreversible damage and the passage of time. The mention of an "old flame" who "still counts them anyways" creates an interesting counterpoint to the narrator's earlier statement. This other figure seems to be meticulously tracking something, perhaps the hurts or the losses, in contrast to the narrator's earlier dismissal of counting.
The latter half of the song introduces a significant shift, with the narrator seemingly adopting the observer role: "You keep getting under / I'll keep on watching my heart bleed." This reversal suggests a potential hardening or a mirroring of the other person's behavior, a resignation to the pattern of mutual observation of pain. The final repetition of "Not getting under" implies a deliberate choice to stop sinking, even as the emotional toll remains evident in the struggle to breathe.