I Spent the Winter Writing Songs About Getting Better

Lyrics

[Intro] Ooh-ooh-ooooh, ooh-ooh-ooooh Ooh-ooh-ooooh,  ooh-ooh-ooooh [Verse 1] Never  been religious, even when I was a kid I'd sit in the pews and pretend But if I'm wrong, I'd like to have one nice long talk With  whoever would create an idiosyncrasy like me [Chorus] I'd  say hey Allah, the jig is up That was a good one Making  me in your image with the parts that people hate I'd say hey Shiva, creator and destroyer If you could take me out with one of your 4 arms Boy, that would be great Oh  fuck, I'm sorry [Verse 2] There I go again, ready to throw in the towel 'Cause even though I lost the weight Made lifelong friends, and moved to a shining blue state Some days I still can't see the rainbows past storm clouds Because depression has no expiration There's no off button, this is it for the rest of my life But it's a life I'll gladly live Even the moments where the battle feels uphill There will be more good days than bad I'm going the distance in this fight [Instrumental Bridge] [Refrain] Fight for more good days than bad Fight for the life you told your younger-self you'd have Fight for more good days than bad Fight for the life you told your younger-self you'd have Fight for more good days than bad Fight for the life you told your younger-self you'd have Fight for more good days than bad Fight for the life you told your younger-self you'd have [Outro - Spoken Word] I know it's easier to repeat a mantra than to live it And I know it's easier to talk about your goals than to stick with it 'Cause believe me, I spent so much time shooting myself in the foot, talking about being better Doing better but leaving the bait on the hook Who the fuck am I to tell you it gets better? When you and I both know that for some people it won't? Who am I to stand on this stage, broadcasting page after page Of thoughts that will embarrass my family? Leading you to believe that I know the answers when I don't But what I do know is that you're never too old to come of age There are millions of people in this country living their own Great American Novel, our lives are the pen scribbling half-thoughts furiously on this lands page We don't know where we're going we just know we want the ending to be great, and there's nothing wrong with that A grand gesture to the world: I was here, I made something, I spoke up I got better, maybe you can too? If that's what you want, but what do I want? Because I tell myself I want a mule and forty acres of land I tell myself I want to reclaim my motherlands I tell myself I want to be the biggest fucking band on this planet But really though, honestly, I would settle for making those dull lights from the beginning a little more bright I want to die knowing I made it even a little easier for every single kid like me I want to own up to my mistakes and show that it's okay to be wrong, I want to redact that line on that song about wishing no one said the N word at all - because fuck that! Me and my niggas are shutting this shit down unashamed and unembarrassed Me and my niggas were really out here in Paris Gold jewelry on brown skin glistening under the moonlight The storm clouds reduced to a light drizzle, a feeling of weightlessness, remembering what a perfect night feels like Because even if these moments are far and few between Even if there's a grand scheme and these moments don't mean anything I want to collect them to remind myself that life still can still grab me I want to remember that there are moments where I'm capable of being so fucking happy