The Classroom

Lyrics

[Intro: MC 7EVEN as Announcer] Hmm, very poignant And now, I point to the teacher and the classroom And our wild tale commences [Verse 1: Princess Superstar as Teacher] Hello, everyone, welcome to ancient speaking class You must speak, that's what I'm teaching If you're going to telepath, you're wasting my time, so don't spaz Hey, I heard that! Who just thought their teacher has a big ass? Don't think nasty things like that when everyone here can telepath Well, this is fun, I know it's difficult without tongues But you're young, you still have lots of time to sunscreen under one of the suns Now who wants to start? Will it be you Intel Inside? Or you, Just Do It? Perhaps Got Milk wants to begin, oh, Coke Is It, stand, don't sit Hit It, Ba Da Ba Ba Ba, I'm Lovin' It, you begin your report Don't use your port, use your rusty, a little dusty, mouth and larynx Right where you used to put a sandwich, see if we can manage But we're gonna need a beat in order for you to handle it Uh, I'm teaching you in rhyme Since archaeologists found only Shakespeare and B.I.G.'s 'Ready to Die' When time and age was counted, measured, money was pleasure Babies branded after ad campaigns forever The old world was confused Attaching themselves to the biblical by the umbilical Ironically, so much like the amoeba they sprung from, the evolution was cyclical But I get ahead of myself, or was that behind myself? Perhaps Coke Is It wants to do her report first, I'm asking But remember kids, no telepathin' [Verse 2: Princess Superstar as Coke Is It & Teacher] My, um, um, ancient speaking report Is on my great-to-the-50th-power grandmother whose name was Superstar I am the descendant of her duplicant A sycophant from a cloning plant No telepathing, Coke Is It! Right, uh, the year of her was 2080 Understandably illusive since we don't count time anymore, maybe It's a bit hazy, but Superstar was crazy An entertainer back when there was entertainment, pleasure for payment So that everybody would stop their complainin' She was very, very bad, and I don't mean bad meaning good I'll explain how bad Superstar was if I could In those strange days, each human was allowed one exact clone Or duplicant as they called them To do his bidding, his drinking, his pigging His cigging, or his unpleasant slash moral thinking One could do it at any age And as the original changed and the duplicant would rearrange But our derranged Superstar was thinking Why just one duplicant when she could have a troupe of them? (Mhm) Why settle for one when she could make thousands of bad girl clones to get a better job done? Well, what was she like when she was young? She dreamed of bein' a celebrity just like everyone It was 2005, a strange time to be alive She knew if she couldn't be famous in her time She would be one day in 2080 So she found a super computer MRI baby (Wow!) That would preserve her mind until the world was ready to comply I ain't gonna lie, not only does she become famous She becomes the only famous person alive Listen to her plot, playin' with her friends when she was only nine What an insane mind! Yeah, thank God it's not mine Or, uh?