Intro via the telePATH

Lyrics

[MC 7EVEN as Announcer] Welcome to the future Well, not exactly welcome to the future Because you're all stuck in the present Whereas I have the luxury of coming and going as I please Thanks to the telePATH But I came back here to share with you an interesting story Mainly because the egomaniacal Superstar And of course, her duplicants Commissioned me to time travel as a sort of Time barrier hype man What she doesn't know, or will not know Or was that, won't know? Is that I'm telling the real story Not the press kit version I know you're all dying to know what is my time? So peculiar, this need to know about time Counting time used to take up so much time Anyway, I can't say when, for everyone stop counting back in 3005 But it's a long, long ways away from everything you know Yeah, 'specially you I'll make this quick Because I know everyone always skips intros And for good reason The tale begins with a classroom With a teacher teaching the art of ancient speaking For our future people have no tongues But telepath instead using the brain You might not know fully what the brain is, listeners But you will one day learn, haha Oh, yes, you will one day learn Anyway, these future children are all named for old-time advertising campaigns 'Cause everyone back in 2080 got so bored with advertisements The corporations had to make lifelong lucrative deals with parents Just to name every generation of their children after ad slogans One of these ad slogans, I mean children, will tell an important story About how her great-to-the-50th-power grandmother Named the Superstar The Superstar was so crazed for fame She ended the world by use of her name You'll see what I mean Please, allow me to introduce herself Her name is Superstar