The Ballad of Lucy + Ted

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Twilight on a Brooklyn night Twilight on a Brooklyn night The zoo was closed, it was after five Lucy and Teddy were still alive [Verse 2] Three young boys snuck into the zoo They intended going swimming in the polar bear pool Little Juan Perez squirmed through the fence At eleven years old she shoulda had more sense [Verse 3] Lucy and Ted were asleep in their lair Lucy woke and said, "Ted, I hear something out there" Ted saw Juan swimming 'cross the moat He pullеd him out, dragged him back in the lair Juan's two friends got thе heck outta there, yeah [Verse 4] Screams rang through the Brooklyn Zoo Screams rang through the Brooklyn night When the cops got there, they saw quite a sight Juan had dwindled to just a few bites [Verse 5] Twenty shotgun blasts killed Ted and Lucy dead They called the doctor, they called the vet They cut 'em open under bright floodlights The vet said there ain't no bodies inside [Verse 6] Lucy was thirty-three, Ted, he was thirty-two Two happy healthy polar bears living in the Brooklyn Zoo [Verse 7] Now boys will be boys and polar bears, they will be bears And Juan wouldn't have got et if he hadn't gone in there And some may scream and some may swear But I am on the side of the polar bears, yeah [Outro] And some may scream and some may swear But I am on the side of those poor polar bears