The Ballad of Alferd Packer [Demo-Version]

Lyrics

[Intro] Here's a strange song It's, um It's the only song I've ever, ever taken actually American folklore And written a song about Where I saw this book of murder legends and things And there was this guy named Alferd Packer Who was a guide in the old west in Colorado, and um He gathered these men out in the mountains, the San Juan Mountains They got caught in a snowstorm and they had to stay there a long time After a while he ate them all up because he was hungry And when he got back he was arrested Sort of a fascinating type of guy "The Ballad of Alferd Packer" It's a true story, supposedly [Verse 1] In the state of Colorado In the year of '74 They crossed the San Juan Mountains Growing hungry to the core Their guide was Alferd Packer They trusted him too long For his character was weak And his appetite was strong [Chorus] They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief It just doesn't pay to eat anything but government-inspected beef [Verse 2] Along the Gunnison River An Indian camp they spied An Indian chief approached them To stop them he did try He warned them of the danger In the snow that lay around But the danger was in Packer For his hunger knew no bound [Chorus] They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief It just doesn't pay to eat anything but government-inspected beef [Verse 3] Well, two cold months went slowly by Packer came back alone "And my comrades they all froze to death I'm starving," he did moan The Indian chief knew how he lied He spat upon the ground For his belly hung out all over his belt And he'd gained some thirty pounds [Chorus] Well, they called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief It just doesn't pay to eat anything but government-inspected beef [Verse 4] And for nine long years he ran away But finally he was tried He claimed he didn't kill them He only ate their hides That County had six Democrats Until he did arrive And only one lives on today He ate the other five [Chorus] Well, they called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief It just doesn't pay to eat anything but government-inspected beef [Verse 5] Well, eighteen years he stayed in jail It was a dreadful fate For he suffered indigestion Every time he ate Still, it's hard to blame this hungry guy Who went searchin' for the mines For when he ate his friends He'd never heard of Duncan Hines For when he ate his friends He'd never heard of Duncan Hines