Strength Thru Shopping

Lyrics

Monogrammed toilet paper rollers that sing Ever wonder who would buy these things? The ones with plastic Santas in their yards And custom license plates no one understands Strength through shopping What a thrill Who cares, they were on sale Save more buying nothing at all But it's the art of the deal Fake glasses so people think I'm smart Fitness toys by mail, I think I used 'em once Found a quicker way To wow the boys and girls Silicone implants for he-man lumpy arms Strength thru shopping Make my day Obey the call of the consumer Give me convenience Or give me death Before I choke myself My car stereo's so loud and big There's hardly anywhere for me to sit Or make room for an inflatable doll or three So I can take the carpool lane And pass toll-free Took a paid vacation on a train My camcorder never left my face Only put it down to recharge At home I'll play it back And see just where we've gone Strength through shopping everywhere Am I possessed by my possessions? Online I never leave my chair No one screws me 'Cause I'm protected! (He's protected!) I'm protected! (He's protected!) I screw myself instead