Curses

Lyrics
[Preamble] I've been a good boy to all my teddy bears I wouldn't harm a flea I kiss my mummy and always say my prayers How come he picks on me? I was always told to have respect for the cloth But that there reverend's gonna suffer my wrath I was just standing round, trying to please He goes and takes away my knees When I get up I'm gonna tear him limb from limb Divine chastisement's gonna descend on him I'm gonna take a small collection that'll make the parish news I'm gonna blow away his pews I hope he's plagued with locusts and frogs And overrun with rats and mice and chasеd by savage dogs And on the Day of Judgemеnt I will be there, because I'm gonna dig him deeper than he was [Instrumental break] I hope that when he preaches he gets hiccup attacks And poltergeists haunt him and break his knicks and knacks And his diocese is atomised and pestilence is rife And I'll bash him and I'll thrash him and I'll run off with his wife You know David slew Goliath? Well, Harold ditto Hector I'll put a cobra in his cassock, excommunicate this rector With his tantalising wife I'll have asses' milk baths And lots and lots and lots and lots of laughs [Instrumental break] With her I could be happy, no need of teddy bear We'd lie around in consecrated cotton underwear Condemn Slingsby for eternity to itch and twitch and scratch And leave his collar backwards; just turn his head to match [Verse] Ah, but what the heck, it's the season of goodwill And He might not like it if I wish the vicar ill But all the same I can't help leaving one little curse I hope his cold gets worse
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