Lyrics

[WHITNEY AVALON] Poor unfortunate souls In pain In need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed Those poor unfortunate souls So sad, so true They come flocking to my cauldron Crying, "Spells, Ursula please!" And I help them? Yes, I do [PETER HOLLENS] So prepare for a chance of a lifetime Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer [WHITNEY AVALON] And where do we feature? [PETER HOLLENS] Just listen to teacher I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues And injustice deliciously squared [WHITNEY AVALON & PETER HOLLENS] Be prepared! [PETER HOLLENS] Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud (Et tibit Pater) Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd (Quia peccavi nimis) Then tell me, Maria Why I see her dancing there Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul (Cogitatione) I feel her, I see her The sun caught in her raven hair Is blazing in me out of all control (Verbo et opere) Like fire Hellfire This fire in my skin This burning Desire Is turning me to sin [WHITNEY AVALON] No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's [PETER HOLLENS] For there's no one in town half as manly Perfect, a pure paragon! [WHITNEY AVALON] You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley And they'll tell ya whose team they prefer to be on! [WHITNEY AVALON & PETER HOLLENS] No one's been like Gaston A kingpin like Gaston [WHITNEY AVALON] No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston [PETER HOLLENS] As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! [WHITNEY AVALON] My, what a guy, that Gaston! Mother knows best Listen to your mother It's a scary world out there [PETER HOLLENS] (Very scary world) [WHITNEY AVALON] Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear Ruffians, thugs Poison ivy, quicksand Cannibals and snakes The plague [PETER HOLLENS] No! [WHITNEY AVALON] Yes! [PETER HOLLENS] But -- [WHITNEY AVALON] Also large bugs Men with pointy teeth, and Stop, no more, you'll just upset me Mother's right here Mother will protect you Darling, here's what I suggest Skip the drama Stay with mama Mother knows best [PETER HOLLENS] Yes... Are you ready? (Are you ready?) Are ya ready? Transformation central! (Transformation central!) Transformation central! (Transformation central!) Transmogrification central! Can you feel it? You're changin', you're changin', you're changin' all right! I hope you're satisfied But if you ain't, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other side... (But you got what you wanted!) [WHITNEY AVALON] But you lost what you had! So Ali turns out to be Merely Aladdin Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me [PETER HOLLENS] His personality flaws Give me adequate cause [WHITNEY AVALON] To send him packing on a one-way trip So his prospects take a terminal dip [PETER HOLLENS] His assets frozen [WHITNEY AVALON] The venue chosen [WHITNEY AVALON & PETER HOLLENS] Is the ends of the earth, whoopee! So long! Ex-Prince Ali! [WHITNEY AVALON] Mother knows best! [PETER HOLLENS] Friends on the other side! [WHITNEY AVALON] Poor unfortunate souls! [PETER HOLLENS] Be prepared!