The Jack Ash Society

Lyrics

This song really should be prefaced with the observation of a newspaper editor I met once. He said, "The John Birch Society really should be called the Jack Ash Society!" A bunch of Jack Ash-ites from Belmont, Mass Have suffered a terrible fright: They looked under their beds and discovered such reds As Allen and Milton and Dwight If more you would know of this Jack Ash credo See the Blue Book, the Black Book, the White If you do you will find wе're all Reds of some kind Likе Allen and Milton and Dwight Joe McCarthy is dead So Jack Ash instead Leads the anti-Communist fight U. S. Reds he has found Swarming all around (Some 179 million so far!) Including Allen and Milton and Dwight If you believe in more hospitals, housing, and schools New highways and civil rights The Ash-ites will add you to the un-American list Along with Allen and Milton and Dwight Social Security's a Bolshevik plot Cooked up by some shrewd Muscovite So go naked you must or be a security risk Like Allen and Milton and Dwight Beware of good pay and the minimum wage; It's part of the Socialist blight Created by conspirators bold Like Allen and Milton and Dwight! Unemployment insurance is another Red trick That slipped by in the dark of the night So send back your checks lest you share the fate Of Allen and Milton and Dwight These Jack Ashes are drawing the lunatic fringe Assembling on the right Barry's their man He has no pinkish tan Like Allen and Milton and Dwight There 's a man sitting on the Un-American Committee He's a Jack Ash Society-ite I wonder what day he will send out a subpoena To Allen and Milton and Dwight? The Jack Ashes say that in World War II We should have joined with the Third Reich; Adolf can pass their loyalty test But not Allen nor Milton nor Dwight They want to prepare for a nuclear war Kill everything human in sight And if you'd rather live, you're a Communist dupe Like Allen and Milton and Dwight So all the Jack Ashes should take some advice: Wake up and start seeing the light! Their Führer may find they are Red agents too Like Allen and Milton and Dwight Now some good songs, and few bad ones, have a moral, and here's the moral of this one: Now a candy bar's sweet Milk chocolate's a treat But ponder before you bite: The worms hiding inside May shrivel your hide Like Allen and Milton and Dwight