My Secret Weapon

Lyrics

[HELENA, spoken] Then we make discovery! In my face crème, we put the elixir of woman The hormone that makes her different from the man! [HARRY, spoken] Estrogen? [HELENA, spoken] Brilliant, no? [HELENA] It's my secret weapon My secret weapon To take America by storm Feminine quintessence Cooked down to its essence This can make the skin transform [HELENA, spoken] Whoosh! [HELENA] Want to conquer fashion And also cash in? As the French would say "Cherchez la femme" Fight the march of time And look sublime With new estrogenic hormone crème [HELENA, spoken] With this crème, you can postpone the menopause [HARRY, spoken] Defy age itself! [HELENA, spoken] Skin like the tuchas of a baby [HARRY, spoken] I can work with that [HARRY] It's your secret weapon [HELENA] Our secret weapon Your turn to step into the fray [HARRY] Start with Walter Winchell Every column inch'll Show New York you're here to stay We'll seduce new clients By selling science [HELENA] Women must embrace the modern age My job is to make la crème de la crème [HARRY] Mine will be to make it all the rage [ELIZABETH, spoken] But, Tommy, look at the jar! Pink! Arden pink! The color of every woman's childhood, when youth still springs eternal [TOMMY] It's our secret weapon [ELIZABETH] Our secret weapon [TOMMY] Release this urgent to the trades "Evening day and sport pinks" [ELIZABETH] "Boudoir and resort pinks" [TOMMY] "Now announcing twelve new shades" [ELIZABETH, spoken] Pink for every month of the year! [ARDEN GIRL] "Champagne pink is festive" [ARDEN GIRL] "Blush rose suggestive" [TOMMY] Sky blue pink stays fresh from nine to five [ELIZABETH] Free from harmful hormones Others use Step into the pink and come alive [ELIZABETH, spoken] We're in the pink alright! [HELENA, spoken] So, how do we get these women to give up this pink? My crème, she is twice as good [HARRY, spoken] "Twice as good," an interesting notion [HARRY] New "twin youth-ifiers" Double your buyers [HELENA, spoken] How? [HARRY] Two variations on a theme [HELENA, spoken] Go on [HARRY] One jar is the day cream One jar is the night cream Different labels, same cream [HELENA, spoken] I like it! [HELENA] Product so essential [HARRY] So fundamental [HELENA & HARRY] You will need it twice for your toilette! [HELENA, spoken] Such a team we make, Harry! [HARRY] Charge 'em twice the price At half your cost That is what I call a matching set! [HELENA, spoken] It's genius! [HARRY, spoken] Thank you [HELENA, spoken] No, me, for hiring you [TOMMY, spoken] She's seen a thirty percent rise in sales All because of that Madison Avenue Shakespeare Give me the same title that he's got [ELIZABETH, spoken] Tommy, don't [TOMMY, spoken] Invisible, is that what I'm supposed to be? [ELIZABETH, spoken] For now (singing) You're my secret weapon Top secret weapon You keep the business in the black [TOMMY, spoken] Where no one can see me [ELIZABETH] Making nice with buyers Calming down suppliers Filling in the skills I lack [TOMMY, spoken] My name on the masthead, maybe? [ELIZABETH] Future prospects sunny We're coining money It's a winning formula [TOMMY, spoken] I guess [ELIZABETH] Everything you need You're got right here [TOMMY] All except the title [ELIZABETH] Patience dear That's the secret weapon To our success