Looking 4

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Tell me where I belong Is it in the message of the music As I'm writing this song Do I have the will to use it Even if I'm not strong Conveying my feelings So too you can tell me I'm wrong Inadvertently hurtin my confidence The more I choose to go on But you tell me that it's all in my head And the minute I wake up in bed one day it'll all be gone But lately I've been feeling like Rick in the walking dead I don't know how I managed to stay afloat this long So tell me is the answer in a place that I haven't looked Is it on the internet or from a page in a book I wanna know where it went But I'm tired of asking again I'm tired having to find a new way to pay the next rent I'm tired of talking about it that's why I choose not to vent I've got trust in my abilities but only to an extent If you understand what I'm saying then let me ask you this Would you rather be happy and penniless or rich and depressed Obtain everything you ever wanted, including the stress Or live your life to the fullest despite the things you can't get The importance of mine was to find what I thought I had missed But for me it disappeared and failed to ever show up again So I waited a day, a few months and then a year I waited 2 more years and still it hasn't reappeared 3 more years followed and I began to fear That what I was looking for was most likely no longer here [Hook] Tell me what is that you're looking for I just need to know why you sound so low [Verse 2] Totaled my first car before I turned 21 That was the day I told myself I was finally done Insurance rates through the roof I don't know what to do Told myself that I'm fucked as my self-hatred grew The more I run out of luck, the more the pain will ensue So I lie to myself despite all of the proof I could write a book about the shit that I'm in Sometimes I close my eyes and fantasize What life was like back when I was ten I wish I could go there again Even though I should move on, I still reminisce Everything I do is closer to a miss than a hit So every time I try I wonder why I'm back at it again I wonder where it went, should I have payed attention Devise the signs of lies to myself I shouldn't mention That maybe I'm not depressed and this is just a phase But I think I've come too far for far too many days For this to just simply fade away No matter how far I run, I can never escape The darkness follows me everywhere One day it might take me away Need to find it, before I get blinded By the hopelessness, and the failures that I'm constantly reminded I did everything I thought that I could Everything I thought that I should, but it no longer helped And no matter how hard you try, you can never say you feel me Without ever knowing how I actually felt [Hook] Tell me what is that you're looking for I just need to know why you sound so low