SHART! (Sudden Heartache And Regretful Turmoil)

Lyrics

[Intro] This is a S.H.A.R.T. story, a story of Sudden Heartache that follows A period of Regretful Turmoil. This story will develop fast before your very eyes. Let me set the scene… [Chorus] Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah No, no, no [Verse 1: Singing, Talking] Part One, Sudden Heartache It was valentines day, the time was 6:17 And I was looking forward to seeing the man of my dreams (Oh!) A nice little red note (Oh!) Addressed to the man I dote At the restaurant, my fingers twirling On the inside I was heaving and hurling (Oh!) I had something to say to you (Oh!) Three words, eight letters to make it true You walk in, it's around 6:20 P.M I take a glance at the door, that's when I see him He steps to me, isn't he charming? His face is somber, that's quite alarming He sits down, and the waiter stops by We get drinks and we talk, as the time flies He hands me a present with a small bow, surprise! (It was a necklace!)And it matched my eyes He gets up to use the bathroom, when I see the prize He left his phone behind, and the screen lights up five times Like what the fuck? So I snatch it up, and it's a text from his cousin I unlock his phone, and it'd be weird if it was his cousin That he was BUTTFUCKING! I scroll through all their texts How "Sweet Home Alabama," those bitches were having sex And he was on this date, five minutes before he came Well, he came twice, ha-ha-ha, no seriously, twice But it wasn't funny then, tears welled up in my eyes And I left then and there, plotting his demise [Chorus] Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah No, no, no [Verse 2: Singing, Talking] Part Two, Regretful Turmoil The pain was far too much to bear I went on for hours, pretending I didn't care So I decided to give up trying Cuz who was I? Emotions I was defying The time was 12:05 on February 15th I was in his house, his bed underneath Three bullets in my gun, where would they go? His head, his heart, and his real life dildo The moment exactly was a blur But he's gone, his redness on his carpet furs I spent 5 hours cleaning and scrubbing Til he was never there, there was nothing The body bag was heavy, I dropped it once or twice Then I incinerated the remains, with a special device It was done, the deed was over just like that The murder was done at the drop of a hat Invigorating, this man betraying me was dead Off with his motherfucking head But I wanted more, I wanted more I really did murder him, but before he was burned, oh I dismembered all his limbs, gutted him like a fish Removed his eyeballs, I destroyed that bitch I wanted more, I bathed in his guts I picked out every bones, I destroyed that slut I WANTED MORE! I chopped up his dick I screwed up his face with a fucking waterpik I—(It'd be best if you stop there, you've already incriminated yourself, Mr. Nigel.) [Chorus] Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah (This was a story of sudden heartache) Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah (And the regretful turmoil that follows) Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah (I'll see you bitches in jail!) No, no, no