Lyrics

(A champagne bottle pops.) [ARTIE, spoken] Hey, Gillis! We'd given up on you! Where you been keeping that gorgeous face of yours? [JOE, spoken] In a... deep freeze [ARTIE, spoken] Jesus, Joe, what are you wearing? [JOE, spoken] It's quite a crowd [ARTIE, spoken] Yeah, I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in DeMille's latest picture [BETTY, spoken] Oh, where have you been hiding? I called your apartment, I called your ex-agent. I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons! [JOE, spoken] They always know where to find me [JEAN] By this time next year I'll have landed a juicy part [STEVE] 1950 will be my start [RICHARD T] No more carrying spears! [MARY] I'll be discovered My life won't ever be the same Billy Wilder will know my name And he'll call all the time [KATHERINE] 'Til he does, can one of you guys lend her A dime? [ALISA] Just an apartment With no roaches and no dry rot [ANITA] Where the hot water comes out hot [TOGETHER] That's my Hollywood dream! [RICHARD A] Your resolution... [JOANNA] Is to write something that gets shot With approximately the plot I first had in my head [MYRON] But you'll get rewritten even after you're dead [ARTIE] It's a year to begin a new life Find a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty When you have a young kid and a wife Then you need somewhere green far from the city It's a rambling old house with a big apple tree With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me [BETTY] I have some good news It's 'Dark Windows' [JOE] You don't let go [BETTY] I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe And he swallowed the bait [JOE] Well, hallelujah [BETTY] While you've been buying your fancy clothes I've been making a lot of notes Now there's work we should do [JOE] Betty, you're forgetting that I gave it To you You remind me of me long ago Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition Thought I'd waltz into some studio and achieve overnight recognition I've seen too many optimists sinking like stones Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones [BETTY] I love 'Dark Windows' But I can't write it on my own Can't we speak on the telephone? All my evenings are free [ARTIE] Hey, just a minute I'm the fella who bought the ring [BETTY] Artie, this is a business thing It's important ot me You'll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee Please make this your New Year's resolution for me [ENSEMBLE] By this time next year I will get my foot in the door Next year I know I've gotta score An amazing success By this time next year I will get my foot in the door Next year, know I'm going to score An amazing success Cut to the moment When they open the envelope Pass the statuette to Bob Hope And it's my name you hear We'll be down on our knees Outside Grauman's Chinese Palm prints there on the street Immortality's neat! This time next year This time next year We'll have nothing to fear Contracts all signed Three-picture deal Yellow brick road career Hope we're not still saying these things This time next year! [JOE, spoken] You know what, I think I am available next year. In fact, I'm available right now! [BETTY, spoken] Joe, that's great! [JOE, spoken] Hey, listen. Can you put me up for a couple of weeks? [ARTIE, spoken] It just so happens we have a vacancy on the couch [JOE, spoken] I'll take it (JOE runs to a telephone and rings up MAX.) [MAX, spoken] Yes? [JOE, spoken] Max, it's Mr. Gillis. I want you to do me a favor [MAX, spoken] I'm sorry, I cannot talk now, Mr. Gillis [JOE, spoken] No, listen. I want you take my old suitcase— [MAX, spoken] I'm sorry! I'm attending to Madame [JOE, spoken] What do you mean? [MAX, spoken] She found the razor in your room. And she cut her wrists! (The ensemble sets off several party poppers.) [ENSEMBLE, spoken] Happy new year! [ENSEMBLE, sung] Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should auld acquaintance be forgot And days of auld lang syne For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne