Lyrics

I got my STD test back today And I'm clean But I was nervous, shit, yes, scared, like Charlie Sheen in Major League when he thought that chick that he slept with was married 'Caus havin bumps on your dick or dying is scary So I'm not gonna fuck around no more, I wouldn't go Canoeing without an oar I wouldn't play baseball without a bat So I'm not gonna fuck Without a jimmy hat I got my HIV Test back today And I'm clear But I was nervous, like an 18-year-old buying beer, sweating balls While regretting that one night with that one girl Having nightmares that I was Pedro from The Real World So I'm not gonna fuck around no more, I wouldn't go Canoeing without an oar I wouldn't play baseball without a bat So I'm not gonna fuck Without a jimmy hat My only advice to all the guys that think they're immune If she went raw dog with you, she'd probably do it with me too And you don't know where I've been She got her pregnancy test back today, and we're fine But I was nervous like a fat kid in a dodgeball line She's twenty-nine, but I'm not quite ready to start making little dudes I can hardly afford to pay for my own food So I'm not gonna fuck around, no way, I wouldn't go sledding without a sleigh I wouldn't have a heart without the love So I'm not gonna fuck Without a body glove Without a bishops cap Without a jimmy hat (Yeah yeah yeah)