Lyrics

We are driven! Driven! I'm the only me that ever there was I'm the only me that ever there will be And I'm singing and I'm singing about me because I'm the only me that ever there was Hello Now let me tell you about myself I used to be a drunk And a chronic drunk driver In the ten years between my first arrest, and having my license revoked I racked up nineteen major traffic violations I caused six serious accidents Injured three people beside myself And had my license suspended twice Here's the scene: I was still driving, and drinking Here's the scene: It's Friday night, you made it through the week, and now it's your turn The cheese... You're going to unwind... The cheese you intended to buy smeared on the headlights And the sardines, tied by their tails to the bumper You might crush a great big peanut Under the left-front wheel of the automobile And put some mustard on the door handle We are driven! What makes it so mellow? I usually picture a quince jammed up in the window And the juice running out of the quince and dripping down On the side of the automobile Cutty Sark. You can count on Cutty Cutty's smooth, light flavor makes for an evening of fine sitting I placed Mr. Calicot in the form of a calico cat on the radiator Put it together Actually, I tied the cat there by its tail And let it screech and holler Put it together with Cutty Sark And you'll get onto why it's America's #1 scotch Drive with your mind! Driven... Driven... Driven... Tie the shoes to the steering wheel of the automobile Have them actually get in your way as you attempt to steer the car Drive, with your mind! Then, one night I was driving home after work And I had a few, and... I hit this kid on a bicycle Slow down, daddy! Guilt is just a word! Anger is just a word! Hate is just a word And depression is just a word! Slow down, daddy! How does someone know when it's time to be oppressed? How does someone know when it's not time to be oppressed? How does someone know when it's time to be oppressed? And how does someone know when it's not time to be oppressed? Please, slow down Drive with your mind Why do I have to feel like this? Why do I have to feel like this? Why do I have to feel like this? I have got to apologize Guilt is just a word! Anger is just a word! Hate is just a word And depression is just a word! Slow down, daddy! How does someone know when it's time to be oppressed? How does someone know when it's not time to be oppressed? How does someone know when it's time to be oppressed? And how does someone know when it's not time to be oppressed? I have got to apologize I'm sorry Drive with your mind I've got to let those ??? know! There's no chance for it and there never will be Anger is just a word Hate is just a word And depression, just a word Please, slow down (Down, down...) Drive with your mind While the 2nd amendment, the right to bear arms You could have two bear arms hanging out of a headlight Imagine yourself grabbing the handbrake And having it bite you back, with a set of teeth You might have gasoline pour out of the skiddometer Every time you exceed the speed limit Here's the scene: You can make it even more vivid by making it cause an explosion Here's the scene Are you alright there? Are you alright? Are you okay, mister? My eyes, my eyes... Did you get glass in them? No I watched you coming across that fire-duct When you got to this end, you started driving in circles I know Have you been drinking, mister? We are driven! Drive with your mind Driving a car shaped like a microphone into the gates of Hell Drive with your mind He was just eleven. A little younger than my eldest boy I was too drunk to see him then, but I can see him now And I remember I'm the only me that ever there was