The Greatest Taste Around

Lyrics

(The condolences of every person at Pepsi-Cola are with you.) I got fired by my boss: Pepsi (We have to look great for Pepsi-Cola!) I nailed Jesus to the cross: Pepsi (You've got to pay the price!) Powdered mashed potatoes in the cupboard for three years ([?]. I think there's a [?] that can make your soda last forever.) Alcoholic husbands driving frantic wives to tears (Okay, so I can't sell you any of our artificial sweeteners...) Poor old widow's house burnt down: Pepsi (-the genius of the soft-drink world! Get the goddamned company to pay the bill!) Tractors plowing down the hills: Pepsi (Kids are still drinking Pepsi at the general store, while-) Ghastly stench of puppy mills: Pepsi (I feel like... a Pepsi?) Sheets with stinking urine, (You don't know what hard feelings are-) bloody shards of glass (-until I come out publicly-) Mud flaps burnt by hot exhaust, (-against your product.) drunkards passing gas (You'll see how much you sell.) Children dying of disease: Pepsi (You forget: The press I delivered to Pepsi was my power! I can use it anyway I want!) Leading helpless teens astray: Pepsi (It's a sword that cuts both ways.) I can't find the strength to say Pepsi (Forget it!) Medicated ointment being spread on painful rash (Drink it in, drink it in!) Old outdated software getting thrown into the trash (G-g-g-grape flavor!) Everything still tastes the same: (Well, think again.) Pepsi