Still Trying (Live at Red Rocks / September 20, 2020)

Song Meaning

Nathaniel Rateliff's "Still Trying (Live at Red Rocks)" isn't just a song; it's a raw, exposed nerve of self-doubt and existential uncertainty laid bare. The opening lines immediately plunge us into a state of disorientation, "standing looking backwards in the outs," suggesting a struggle to find footing, a sense of being on the periphery, disconnected. The assertion that "there's room enough to cramping in the crowd" hints at a claustrophobic feeling despite outward appearances, a personal struggle for identity within a larger context. The repeated chorus, "I don't know a goddamn thing," serves as the song’s brutal, unflinching mantra. It's not mere ignorance, but a profound acknowledgement of the limits of self-knowledge, a surrender to the overwhelming complexity of existence. Rateliff’s lyrics suggest a battle against self-deception and the dangers of complacency. The lines about getting used to your "shit" not smelling after rolling in it for too long are a stark warning against losing self-awareness and moral clarity. The plea for someone to point out his flaws underscores a deep-seated fear of becoming lost in his own ego. The bridge, with its repetition of "This wound is gonna cancel me out," introduces a darker element. This wound, whether literal or metaphorical, represents a deep-seated trauma or flaw that threatens to consume him. It speaks to the fear of being defined and ultimately destroyed by past mistakes or enduring pain. Considering the song's live performance context at Red Rocks, there is a shared vulnerability expressed through the music, creating a space for both Rateliff and his audience to come to terms with their respective wounds. It's an acknowledgement of the human condition, the constant navigation between trying and failing, knowing and not knowing.