The Executive

Lyrics

[Dialogue: The President, mother Rachel, son Jeffrey] What time is it, Rachel? I don't know, I'm just worried about Jeffrey Jeffrey I don't know how this could have happened, why him? Well, he should be here any minute His plane landed about ten minutes ago, so he can't be too long Well, I'm just really eager to know Hi, mom Hi, Jeff, how are you? Hello, Jeffrey The prodigal son has returned Jeffrey, where the hell was Nick? Nick was in the car with us, uh Smoking? Yeah, smoking Arrеsted? No, well, we wеren't arrested It's Nick's business to see that those kind of things don't happen Now, you can't blame Nick I mean, it's as much my fault, it's as much your fault for what happened to me Alright, alright, alright Oh, Dad, I-I-I know, it's a bad scene I'm just so uptight, this whole thing has just gotten me so down Well, why don't we try and relax ourselves (Rachel, you're...) and then we'll discuss it? Alright, I'm all for that But Dad, if it hadn't have been for you, let me tell ya, I would've never Did the dean ask you anything that may have led him to believe that we also smoke, and you know, there is... Well, does he think that I know that you smoke? What did you tell the dean? I didn't really say anything to him at all He just approached me and said that rather than turning it over to the police, he was gonna just send it directly to you Ah yes, he gave me a real solicitous call, you know, "my position and his position", and so on and so forth Guess I really blew it, uh Well I'm really sorry, yeah That's not the point Well, it's these dumb laws we have that caused this, and... And just... Thank you, honey, your mother is really wonderful Thanks, Rachel Here, Jeffrey, won't you light this up? Just what we need Oh, Dad, thanks Now, you were in the car I sometimes wonder if it's all worth it just for a silly little thing like this I don't know, ask the dean, I wonder what he smokes You know, that, that isn't too far from the point, Dad Well, you never know Wouldn't that be a hell of a thing? He can't tell me and I can't tell him Yes? (Two minutes, sir) Alright Isn't this a ludicrous situation? Rachel, it's a ridiculous situation, I agree, but uh, that's not the discussion here The point is, what happens to Jeffrey from here? Do you go back to school, Jeff, do you not, what? What do you wanna do, Jeff? 'Cause there really is nothing to be worried about You only have to decide, do you want to go back to that school? Do you want to take a leave of absence for a few months or what? Because we can call the dean (I don't know) (Yeah, that's no problem) And say that your dad's spoken with you I'm so close to graduation though by now, you know It's, it's almost futile to drop out I don't have very much time now, so we have to cut this short In other words, I guess what we have to do now is pretend that Jeff came home (Yeah) You gave him a good talking to (Yeah) And you and I have to get on the phone with the dean (Right) And say this will never happen again (Right) (I suppose you're right) And we're just shocked and it's a terrible, terrible thing (Terrible, ha-ha) I suppose you're right Yeah, Jeffrey, behave yourself Look, I think, uh (Man), I have to get out to the conference Dad, you're the greatest, let me tell ya You see, if there wasn't all this hypocrisy in this country We wouldn't have to even be having this kind of discussion But Rachel This is what just gets me up a tree all the time And we keep going over and over the same ground Why can't we do something? Rachel, it exists, we will do something Ah, look, I have to get into the conference It's so simple Rachel, I have to get into the conference It's not so simple, but we'll have to do Right, but think, like, I'm your son And if I weren't your son (Well, I'll t—), you know where I'd be today? Yeah? (Thirty seconds) Right, I'm coming You and your mother can toss it around, and when I get back out, I'll continue the discussion Out of sight, out of sight, Dad Alright, never mind, out of sight Gimme five Ah, Jeffrey, this is a ridiculous situation, it can't go on Well, it is what Jeff has been telling you for months now And I'm glad something finally happened to change things Mom, mom, that's cool, cool Well, I'm not so glad, but we'll see Don't give me the "I told you so" I'll see you later Okay, Dad, bye Take care Bye-bye, have a good conference Bye now Ladies and gentlemen of the press, the President of the United States