The Saddest Gal What Am

Lyrics

[HELEN RAY] Army came, took my flame My man done changed and how He cooks and cleans and does latrines I guess he doesn't need me now He used to like my cookin' Now he likes this thing called Spam It comes in a tin! And how he pet and paw me Back before his Army exam. Wow! Now when he's home on leave That brute's polite as politeness can be Instead of romance I get salutes Or he sits and fondles his Army boots! He used to smother me Like honey on a honey ham I'm saddest gal what am I lost my man to Uncle Sam He used to be a scrawny Ninety-eight-pound ball of nerves [THE GWTW GIRLS] The boy was scrappy Slap-dash and happy [HELEN RAY] He'd loaf the day away A-snacking on my… cherry preserves He isn't scrawny now, God Bless! His thighs are the size of a tree His shoulders are brawny, oh yes! But it ain't for me, it's for Uncle S [HELEN RAY, THE GWTW GIRLS] I miss the man who was a lion To my baby lamb! (Baa baa, baby lamb) I'm the saddest gal what am I lost my man to Uncle... [HELEN RAY, spoken] Dear Uncle Sam I know you're tall and manly with a fine set of whiskers But ain't fifteen million men enough for you? Do you have to take mine too? Whisk him halfway around the world And give him pretty jewelry like silver stars and gold medals? Good lord, Sam, there's no one left to dance with! [ALL MEN] He used to whisper tender nothings 'neath the harvest moon [HELEN RAY, spoken] I miss my dumb, clumsy oaf! [ALL MEN] Now all he talks about are fellas in his Army platoon [HELEN RAY, spoken] Doesn't he care about this? Or this? [ALL MEN] He does the laundry now Cooks too [HELEN RAY] His meatloaf is better than mine! [ALL MEN] It's true [HELEN RAY] Oh I'm in a quandary [ALL MEN] Do tell! [HELEN RAY] I'm blue! Should I throw this lug out for someone new? [ALL MEN] But everywhere you look, the Army's pulled the same old scam [HELEN RAY, spoken] Some scam! [ALL MEN] She's the saddest, saddest, gal what am [HELEN RAY] Sad as peanut butter, minus jam [ALL MEN] Used to call her gorgeous, now it's Ma'am [HELEN RAY] I lost my man to a man named Uncle… [HELEN RAY, spoken] Oh well, if you can't beat them! Women's Army Corps here I come! [ALL] Uncle Sam!