Not The Night Wind

Lyrics

Morning breeze comes blowing in as pressure starts to fade Me I wake up early now, I know it's a cliche Oh, but you'll never find me sleeping at the end of any day It's far too much to find my primed imagination It wonders through the night despite my petty protestation But you'll never know; I won't disclose the worried state I'm in I do so value my composure; it's unclear where to begin Between the headlines read and endless dread or anxious moments when I just interpret with the best faith that I can But uncertainty unwelcome always comes to foil my carefullest laid plans There are things we didn't ever used to talk about The excitement in the evening just before the stars came out Like the rustling in the shadows in the park Like how we wandered off alone to find what we feel in the dark Like how it doesn't just get easy 'cause you start With your head laid on the shoulder of some boy you barely knew Your unsleeping mind meandered through the things you did and didn't do And certain in the morning you'd remember it was true And on the wings of it you flew into the next town For the next few days you smiled and said you're glad you came around Oh, but the blowback's never easy when you're not sure what it means The flip side of euphoria is still this mess it seems And when you found a path less traveled doubt just climbed inside your dream There's always something saying you're not obeying Some central laid out principles of being I wanna say we are a people ever aching from self doubt Not that it's so unique; it's just a thing to think about I mean our parents model virtues; of the workplace, of the house But not the night wind, not the road, and not the family we find out in the cold Not to be tender-hearted sending art via youthfulness when old And you wonder what it meant to be politically queer So when I'm lost within my longing, is it politics I hear? Oh but the way you felt so strong among the ones you held so dear It wasn't home, it's someplace that you could believe in Now the rents are rising and your closest friends are leaving Oh but there are things we didn't ever used to talk about Like how pretenses and purity just drenched us in self doubt Like how we arrive imperfect as we are Like how the night wind felt more changeable than cold and distant stars Like how sometimes it just all still seems so far