Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone caught in a loop of regret, fixated on a past summer and a specific person's smile. There's a palpable sense of missed opportunity, a yearning for a "holy vow" or a chance to "see the air come out," hinting at a desire for something profound or perhaps a release of tension that never materialized. The narrator acknowledges a "dirty thought" and the potential to have acted on other desires, but the overwhelming pull is towards a memory of "last summer" and a "wonderful smile."
The central tension lies in the narrator's inability to move past this specific memory, despite recognizing past mistakes. The repeated phrase "Should've known better" coupled with the desire to have read "old letters" suggests a pattern of overlooking crucial signs or information. The narrator seems to be wrestling with their own "old devices" – perhaps ingrained habits or past choices – that prevented them from being present or making different decisions, leading to the recurring question, "How could I know?"
The most striking craft element is the juxtaposition of present-day observations with the persistent pull of the past. The image of a "nicotine filled smile" contrasts with the idealized "wonderful smile" of memory, highlighting a potential decay or change in the object of affection. The cyclical nature of the chorus and the repeated question "How could I know?" emphasize a feeling of being trapped, unable to escape the consequences of past actions or inactions.
Ultimately, the effectiveness of these lyrics stems from their raw portrayal of nostalgic regret and self-blame. The narrator's admission of potential agency ("Could have had 'em if I wanted") makes the subsequent fixation on the past feel even more poignant. The simple, direct question "How could I know?" resonates because it captures that universal human experience of looking back and wishing for a clarity that was absent in the moment.