Punk Rock Explained

Lyrics

You start out with a punk rock band just trying to have fun Your lousy seven-inch is not impressing anyone You get your first show, and you're ready to go When you're stopped by the fire chief Do not pass go. do not collect your ten bucks gas money But pretty soon you're playing almost constantly You buy a crappy, rusted-out old van You leave your mom's house, happy to be on your own And move in with the rest of your band You get a record deal with a big label on the coast You feel important as you eat your ramen and your toast And your money is spent, and you can't pay the rent But you're having a gay old time You don't have cash for food, but you still get drunk every night The local fanzines all start wanting interviews And then you're in Maximum Rocknroll Your record starts to sell, and you get paid for it The fun's just started, now hit the road The merchandise is selling out, you're the talk of the scene The profit margins far exceed your most orgasmic dreams But touring feels wrong when they're shouting out songs Or punching you in the mouth The ones who don't want your autograph Scream at you that you've sold out You wonder why you ever got involved in this You find yourself despising all your fans Your appointments with accountants and your lawyers are More important than the stupid punk band You come out with a half-assed record made too fast You hate your band, and they think you're a jerk And suddenly you're not the hottest thing around It's time for a career in spoken word