Lyrics

I was wallowing in squalor when a note came through the mail From a light-fingered acquaintance who'd been lingering in jail He had served a year of sentence when the fools had set him free And he'd had a good idea he said he'd like to put to me I said come on then, let's have it, there's a twinkle in his eye He says let me put it this way, have you ever wondered why The rich have so much money when, if push should come to crunch You can only be in one room and only eat one lunch A cogent observation, but I didn't have the time I presumed this exposition must be leading to a crime He said wait a precious moment I am trying to set the scene If you liberate your mind my friend you'll soon see what I mean He said have you ever wondered how a horse becomes a glue? Or how my uncle's pencil reached a garden in Peru? And have you tried valerian, the side-effects are strange There is no such thing as accident, for everything's arranged I said listen friend your time inside has clearly flipped your mind These are merely hypotheticals I haven't got the time If it's blackmailing on Snapchat or a hold-up count on me But this claptrap that you're spouting now just sounds like poetry Do not be so narrow-minded, my erstwhile accomplice trilled I've had lots of time for poetry it's left me rather thrilled I've been reading the New York School: Frank O'Hara, Kenneth Koch And they've given me more pleasure than a thousand dirty jokes Well he's published by Macmillan now, he got a big advance Which he spent on buying a farmhouse in a pleasant part of France His first book won a Pulitzer, he's up for a Nobel They say you can't change human nature but he's doing rather well