Life After Sixty

Lyrics

Well I'll be damned Damned if I do, damned if I don't Dead as a doorknob Well you fly in like a nightingale And stagger out like a duck Too sick to matter, too fat to fuck And physical disintegration's just the icing on the cake Someone's left this cake out in the rain Why do people talk in sentences I cannot understand? Even if I wanted to, you horrid little man You're either discussing me or giving me a tiny push I dress this way because I hate the swoosh Life after sixty, it's a dismal cabarеt Your friends applaud politely taking backward steps away Thе reviews are kind, you dream that night You're back at school surrounded by pixies "Go stand in the corner!" says Teacher Recede into invisibility Why did I come into this room? I know there's a reason Probably to make an exit I had hot flushes once But now I'm mostly cold The kids in art school think I'm cool But mostly they just think I'm old The rats don't give a rat's arse I attained invisibility The day my hair quite suddenly turned grey Now this is delicious, they ask me: "Didn't you once date Momus?" And I say: "Date him? I was him for several years!" Of course he was queer They're all queer in the end All would-be Peggy Lees, on their knees singing "I'm still here!" Of course you are, darling We all are! I am sure there's a reason I came into this room Was it for the scissors? But I have the scissors in my hand! If you ask why don't I end it all Well nature's doing that particular job rather well No need to prime the pump Turn the handle on that crank What is there to show for it all? An old X-rated diary Torn Monopoly money In a piggy bank from Studio Ghibli Life after sixty, it's a dismal cabaret Your friends applaud politely Taking backward steps away You're here and then you're not It's extremely banal Dot dot dot