Wear Me Like a Mitt, Romney

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of intense, almost devotional desire, framed by a specific, almost religious aspiration. The narrator fixates on a figure described as a "mountain of a man" with "pearly whites," someone seemingly divinely appointed, "God's right hand." This idealized image fuels a yearning so strong it requires divine approval, a plea for God to sanction a physical intimacy that feels both overwhelming and sacred. The repetition of "if God would say that's all right" underscores the narrator's perceived unworthiness or the transgressive nature of their longing. The central tension lies in this yearning for complete absorption by the object of desire, to be "worn" and perfectly "fit." The repeated phrase "Wear me like a Mitt, Romney" becomes a striking, almost surreal metaphor for this desire. It suggests a wish to be molded, protected, and intimately held by this powerful figure, to become an extension of him, a perfect accessory. The comparison to a "mitt" implies a desire for closeness and utility, a comfortable, functional relationship where the narrator is seamlessly integrated into the other person's existence. The most compelling aspect is the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane, the spiritual and the carnal. The narrator invokes God's blessing for a desire that feels deeply personal and physical, using religious language to articulate an intense, secular longing. The reference to "1 Nephi 9" in the intro, discussing secular versus sacred records, subtly echoes this theme of dualistic concerns. The desire to "lay with him every night" is framed not just as lust, but as a quest for a "perfect fit," a divinely ordained union that elevates the physical act to something holy. This lyrical construction is effective because it takes a raw, potent desire and elevates it through unexpected, almost jarring imagery. The "mitt, Romney" comparison, while specific and potentially divisive, creates a memorable and unique expression of wanting to be completely possessed and accepted. It’s this blend of vulnerability, spiritual seeking, and bold, unconventional metaphor that makes the narrator's plea so potent and unforgettable.