Lyrics

Hello? Is this 69-29-369? Well, I found this number on my telephone bill And it was on there for 13 or 14 times Oh, I see. So you must be the one he's talking to now! Haha... I bet you think you done made the catch of a lifetime! Well, you know what, I think there's some file information you need to know about Oh yeah, I'm gonna tell you about it The truth is a word that he never heard You see, the man lies out of both sides of his mouth "A lowdown and dirty" is putting it mild Oh, but you're still gonna love him anyhow Now, how do I know the man so well? Well, before he was yours he was mine, can't you tell? I can say a lot, some of these things might even get you hot But ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand (Shit's on your fingers) That's right, a mess on your hand You don't understand what that means? Well, a mess on your hands mean you've... (shit's on your fingers) Kind of... stuck your hands in some shit! Understand that? (doo on your fingers) oh, I see You know, you don't sound like the everyday person I talk to You remind me of one of those... college grads, or something Would you, by the way, be one of those? Well, I figured that out, because you didn't know what "mess on your hands" meant (This is on your fingers) Oh, you understand what it means now? (Shit's on your fingers) You know what? You do wonders for my ego It's so nice talking to you I-I really can't believe, that anyone in this day and age Could... (shit's on your fingers) be so naive Miss, do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into? Look: I know I really should not waste my time on doing this (Shit's on your fingers) The lady before me, she called me and gave me all this information About this dude, and I didn't believe her either I think I at least owe you the same courtesy (Shit's on your fingers) Do you have any juries? Well, you're not gonna have it very long, honey I know you must have a big cough, oh yes (shit's on your fingers) He's gonna love you to death! Um, you would dress pretty nice too, wouldn't you? Uh-huh... has he offered to... (shit's on your fingers) Take you to very expensive places, and just happened to have forgotten his credit card? I see... listen to this The man fooled around with some of my closest friends He even dated some of my enemies Yes, he's the kind of fella that can get you shy But you know what? If you run around with dogs You're bound to get fleeced This piece of advice comes free of charge And you better take heed to what I say You're gonna cry a lot, and spend a lotta, lotta lonely, lonely days 'Cause ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand He's gonna be nice at first, so sweet and so kind Until you're gonna think you've found the dearest man on Earth But then he's gonna change overnight Running women in your face He's gonna make you feel like a fool In some crowded place Oh-ho, how do I know the man so well? Well, before he was yours he was mine, can't you tell? You're gonna cry a lot, and spend a lotta, lotta, lotta lonely nights 'Cause ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand (Shit's on your fingers) a real mess on your hand, mhm... You know what? I think (shit's on your fingers) We should stop this once and for all right here You and I ought to get together How about that, what you think of that? I just feel good today, you know (shit's on your fingers) Like I should save you from all of this Why don't... what are you doing right now? Okay, well, I got a feeling (shit's on your fingers) That he's on his way over to your house Why don't you and him go out to dinner Yeah! And you can call me back and tell me, if you set it up And I can just happen to go to the same restaurant (Shit's on your fingers) ain't that great? And while he's sitting there, being all nice and sweet, and all of this I can just happen to drop by (shit's on your fingers) With a baby or something, you know? Ain't no way in hell you can get outta that With both of us sitting here, I'm married to him And you sitting there in all of this, I think it's fantastic! (Shit's on your fingers) Yeah! Okay, I'll tell you what I have to make a run out right now, you know To pay this phone bill, that the two of you done dropped on me But it's worth paying it, honey Call me back in one hour, and we'll set everything up Yeah, that'll be great! Oh, Im'ma love this (shit's on your fingers) This is fantastic, ha! This is a great day, mhm, yeah...