Hustler Hall of Fame

Lyrics

[Verse One]: The road to the top, through cross guards and hard knocks Copper penny Johns and endless city blocks Thieves straight as an arrow and crooked rent-a-cops Shooting craps in the back of vacant lots Three ring circus acts and worthless facts Dancing in my solar, soggy bowl of Diggum' Smacks Fist-fucking faggots at the Y on gym mats Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match I go back and forth just like a Cameo song Honeys wanna love me but the line is long So I make 'em take a number Wake 'em from their slumber What you know about Mickey? (He's a bad motherfucker) Truckers get my digits off the stalls at rest stops I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock Blind old ladies enter diabetic shock [Hook]: 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown [Verse Two]: I flow like Niagara, so go tell your manager That Mickey Avalon ain't no motherfuckin' amateur I fly flics of my dick with your camera And rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera I bought your whole formula, just warmin' up Storm the front line and then find a spot for lunch Toxic fruit punch when the loot comes Rocket boosters when my boots run Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats Hoes know better find this brother at I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad And kicked your mother's ass right in front of your dad Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight Smashed my crown and laid me down with a black eye The bad guy, walking over landmines Who can't die, but still tries [Hook] 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown [Verse Three]: Leave your God and your politics back at home 'Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone I got a girl who likes to talk my ear off, see So when I'm at the bar, stay away from me Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains You can call me rude but I like my solitude And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool So stay cool mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister That snaggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall Pissin' out vodka and marking up the walls I turn off the ringer when my lady calls And don't point your finger unless you want a brawl I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall [Hook] 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown 'Cause it's all the same when they call my name Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down I got a golden smile and a platinum frown