Lyrics

[PRESIDENT] Monsieur Let the witnesses appear Sister Madeleine? (MADELEINE rises, now dressed as a nun) [MADELEINE] Speaking from A nun's point of view I took the veil when I saw him in jail Then I called the committee and Vatican City They may sanctify Passepartout! For in his demeanor And in his behavior He certainly emulates Jesus our savior And lo His soul Is good through and through He has arisen Like Christ from his prison To take from the greedy And give to the needy He's pure as a monk And a bit of a hunk And he truly desеrves support Of every sort From thе court [PRESIDENT] Madame... whoever you are... [WHORE] I represent The moral majority! I'm profoundly sorry to see my dear old friend In the dock It came as a shock 'Cause he always treated And greeted me Very decently [PRESIDENT] The Communist party of France... [PAINTER (COMMUNIST)] We must state the rational view We must agree It is strange to relate With the Catholic view (Which is cogently stated) That we must free Monsieur Passepartout He is a man who can stand for the masses His deeds are the needs of the struggling classes To break down walls And forge life anew His is a struggle We're struggling for And to take from the wealthy And give to the poor Is a very applaudable Totally laudable deed! So we're all agreed Dusoleil Should be freed! [PROSECUTOR] What is justice? What's it for? So a thug, a nun, and a whore Have their say! [PRESIDENT] You're right Take the witnesses away [SISTER MADELEINE] You can throw us out if you like Do what you wish You will not cloud the issue That if he's not free Then the whole of Paree goes on strike! [PAINTER] And yes! We're forced to agree He is our comrade Our friend and our neighbor [SISTER MADELEINE AND PAINTER] We'll fight to the end By withholding our labor Til he's set free [WHORE] The same goes for me! Til Dusoleil is returned to the town Then my dress will stay up, and my panties stay down No - I probably mean that the other way 'round Yes, I do! [ALL THREE] Now it's time to fight For Monsieur Passepartout [PROSECUTOR] Ladies and gentle- Men of the jury I'm sure you've heard the case with ill-concealed fury This is a total Open-and-shut case Because he either is a burglar or a nutcase But then the fact that He shows no repentance Will make it easier When I'm passing sentence He is the nastiest bastard I have ever seen Thus, I have no choice But to condemn him To the guillotine! (Gasps) [Chorus] The guillotine! The guillotine! What can he mean?! [PROSECUTOR] It's this rather wonderful machine Ladies and gentle- Men of the jury Certain truths are fundamental Think what we're sowing Think what we're reaping If such a pervert Is encouraged to go creeping And then start peeping on our wives When they are sleeping Someone stop me weeping! It is not in keeping It is not in keeping with the decency of France That is why I'm keen To guillotine him While we have the chance! [Chorus] No! [PROSECUTOR] To walk through walls and be imprisoned, then escape Can quickly escalate to murder and to rape Think of your wife and of your sister and your daughter He'll ravage and slaughter them As they lie in bed Trembling in their scanties In their bras and panties With such repulsive fantasies Fomenting in his head [DUSOLEIL] (jumps up) Yes I agree that anyone like that Would be better off dead! [PROSECUTOR] A-ha! See, he confesses To these excesses The man's an anarchist A bastard, and a rotter And he's as slippery As an otter And if we set him free Society will totter! He is a fascist A commie A plotter There's one solution And it's execution! [ISABELLE] (Running up) Ladies and gentlemen! This man's my husband! And he should hang his head in shame and in disgrace! (Hands DUSOLEIL a folder) I have something here will make him falter And alter the case! [CROWD] What an utterance How runic and mysterious Dusoleil looks as implacable and serious As the statue of the Emperor Tiberius Why's the Prosecutor looking pale and sickly? Tell us quickly! Tell us quickly! Dusoleil is going to go down fighting Jesus! How exciting! (SISTER MADELEINE cringes.) What's he going to say? It's nail-biting Jeepers How exciting! [DUSOLEIL] Now is the time for me to turn the tables Here's where the underdog is to wag his tail As you perhaps remember from Aesop's Fables Occasionally, the tortoise will prevail! [ISABELLE] We declare That that scoundrel there Is the one who belongs in jail Yes, I found these papers in the attic Carefully hidden underneath the floor Showing he was a traitor and fanatic A Nazi sympathizer in the war! (Shows a photo) Here conferring With Hermann Goering In 1944 [PRESIDENT] Let me see that! (Revealing another photo) This is you! On a double date with Himmler Your Nazi Party membership as well! [PROSECUTOR] Nein! [WHORE] Let him be sent to the guillotine or sim'lar [ALL] Just look at the man He's culpable as hell! Hip hooray, Monsieur Dusoleil! And the same to Isabelle! [MEN] Look at the man He's absolutely baffled [PROSECUTOR] I am baffled! [WOMEN] It seems his prosecuting days are through [ALL] Lead him away and take him to the scaffold [PROSECUTOR] My darling After all I did for you! (The POLICEMAN drags him away.) [ALL] Hip hooray, Monsieur Dusoleil Better known as Passepartout [PRESIDENT] Dusoleil Will you kindly say Why you posed as Passepartout?