Sensitivity

Lyrics
[QUEEN, spoken] We must think of a test—that looks fair, and sounds fair, and seems fair, and isn't fair [Merton and the queen laughs.] [QUEEN, spoken] Terrible! [MERTON, spoken] Terrible! [QUEEN, spoken] Sensitivity. A test for sensitivity. What on earth could that be? (sung) Sensitivity Sensitivity I'm just loaded with that In this one word is the epitome Of the aristocrat Sensitive soul and sensitive stomach Sensitive hands and feet This is the blessing, also the curse Of being the true elite Common people don't know what Exquisite agony is Suffered by gentle people like me Just get your hands off me! Think up a tricky test for that Wretched, moat-swimming princess [MERTON] Madam, may I suggest? Maybe we ought to— [QUEEN] Don't take all night! I'm not well I need my rest Not that I ever sleep on that lumpy mattress! Oh, God! My back Sensitivity, bane of royalty That bed's a torture rack! Oh, I hate to sound grumpy But my nerves are so jumpy I am sure I could feel any lump Even if it were under the mattress And small as a pea! That's the answer! Under the mattress! We'll test her tonight One tiny pea beneath one thick downy mattress Oh, God! You're bright! Any genuine princess would feel it If she doesn't she's through! Get the tiniest pea And order one mattress No, make it two [MERTON] Why not five? [QUEEN] Ten, I think should be plenty Better still make it twenty! And to play it safe In the event Even that's not enough to insure that she sleeps We'll— Give her a strong sedative, won't we? You can whip up a drink Something stunning! Oh, but you're devilish! I love the way you think! She's insensitive, so insensitive, she'll fall asleep no doubt God, but you're clever! Brilliant! A genius! You are divine! Get out!
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Credits
- Writers
- Marshall Barer
- Mary Rodgers