A Secretary Is Not a Toy

Lyrics
[BRATT, spoken] Gentlemen! Gentlemen [BRATT] A secretary is not a toy No, my boy, not a toy To fondle and dandle And playfully handle In search of some puerile joy No! A secretary is not Definitely not A toy [FIRST MAN, spoken] You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt [SECOND MAN, spoken] We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt [THIRD MAN, spoken] It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt [MEN] A secretary is not a toy No, my boy, not a toy So do not go jumping for joy, boy A secretary is not A secretary is not A secretary is not A toy [BRATT] A secretary is not a pet Nor an Erector Set It happened to Charlie McCoy [BRATT & MEN] Boy, they fired him like a shot The day the fellow forgot A secretary is not A toy [WOMEN] She's a highly specialized key component Of operational unity A fine and sensitive mechanism To serve the office community [SMITTY] With a mother at home she supports [BRATT] And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz A secretary is not to be Used for play therapy Be good to the girl you employ, boy Remember, no matter what Neurotic trouble you've got [BRATT & MEN] A secretary is not A toy [WOMEN] A secretary is not a thing Wound by key, pulled by string Her pad is to write in And not spend the night in If that's what you plan to enjoy [WOMEN, spoken] No [BRATT & ENSEMBLE] The secretary you got Is definitely not Employed to do a gavotte Or you know what Before you jump for joy Remember this, my boy A secretary is not A Tinker Toy!
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Credits
- Writers
- Frank Loesser