The Corrupt Bargain

Lyrics

[SPOKEN] And now, an explanation of the Corrupt Bargain, which took place in the back halls of Washington while no one was watching [GIRLS] Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do John Calhoun says: [CALHOUN] We need to find a scheme to Keep the power in the Hands of the chosen few [GIRLS] John Quincy Adams says: [QUINCY ADAMS] If my dad was president I should get to be president too! [GIRLS] Henry Clay says: [CLAY] I'll make you president If you make me Secretary of State [GIRLS] Alexis de Tocqueville says something in French That none of us can translate Whoo! Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do All you educated people You can talk of liberty But do you really want The American people Running their own country? Ooh! Do do do doot (repeated) John Quincy Adams says: [QUINCY ADAMS] If we steal the election Then Jackson will surely cave! [GIRLS] John Calhoun says: [CALHOUN] You can be president If you don't try to take away my slaves [GIRLS] Henry Clay says: [CLAY] You'll get Missouri 'cause I know How to play realpolitick [GIRLS] James Madison said something prescient about this But he was kind of a dick Let's dance! [ALL] Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do [GIRLS] You can compromise all you want They're still drunk and smell like pee! Do you really want America run By a man from Tennessee? John Quincy Adams: [QUINCY ADAMS] The people are stupid! [GIRLS] Henry Clay: [CLAY] They can all go rot! [GIRLS] John Calhoun: [CALHOUN] They're lame! [GIRLS] Quincy Adams: [QUINCY ADAMS] They suck! [GIRLS] Henry Clay: [CLAY] Jackson's a total twat! [GIRLS] John Calhoun: [CALHOUN] These guys are idiots but It's Jackson who's a real threat [GIRLS] I'm sure Michel Foucault would have an opinion But he hasn't been born yet Jackson is a loser! Jackson is a loser! Jackson is a loser! Jackson is a loser! The trio laugh maniacally as Adams celebrates his victory [QUINCY ADAMS] I'm the president! Calhoun and Clay sigh, perhaps realizing who they just conspired to put in office