I Don’t Know How It Ends

Lyrics

(Verse) I don't know how it ends Will it end with a car crash and a single held-out synth note I don't know how it ends Suddenly and without warning, will my end be nice and slow I don't know how it ends Why do I even bother 'cause nothing that I do will matter I don't know how it ends 'Cause destiny's not served on a shining silver platter (Pre-Chorus) It's quite disconcerting Does the end bring on hurting Will I end up converting Could they help with numbing Six months, death forthcoming Or should I expect nothing (Chorus) I don't know how it ends Do I get a chance to make amеnds Will my words be lost in tears Are thеse just irrational fears (Spoken Interlude) I don't want to die, really There's been periods of my life Where I wouldn't have cared if death came early And there's been a moment or two Where I seeked Death out myself, but this Right now This moment right now It isn't one of them Right now, I'm not in a bad place Sure, my OCD's been terrible the past couple weeks And I've been dealing with a ton of anxiety about Like, almost everything I do for a long time now But I'm definitely better than I was before I have friends I have my family, my mom, my dad, my siblings They're patient about me and my daily struggles with autism And PANS, and EDS, and all the other funny acronyms I've been diagnosed with over the years I've finally weeded out all the toxic people Who've controlled way too much of my daily life in the past I'm taking initiative and control over myself And I think, after all these years I'm finally starting to understand what it truly means to live (Chorus) I don't know how it ends Do I get a chance to make amends Will my words be lost in tears Are these just irrational fears I don't know how it ends (This is sincerely me) Do I get a chance to make amends (Sincerely me, sincerely me) Will my words be lost in tears (Sincerely me, sincerely me) Are these just irrational fears (Sincerely me, sincerely me)