Kookies

Lyrics

[Verse 1] One lonely evening alone home End up with carpal tunnel syndrome Here I am, known for giving heavy back aches Grown and living off of Little Debbie snack cakes Supposed to be checking emails All I got is messages from ass naked females (Cookies!) I don't know no Jenny She said it's free and I won't owe her a penny And that's the last time I saw her But thousands of more horrors on online Gomorrah And Sodom, they got 'em with their curls out And they got a better salеs pitch than the Girl Scouts I wonder what I owe hеr For a whole box of caramel coconut samoa ("Nite nite") Uh, okay honey, sweet dreams Now it gets very serious like Peek Freans A metal handful, squish it on the quilt Mrs. wakes up and I'm kill't over spilt milk Locked in, looking at your picture Fully clothed winter and I'm right there with ya Thinking about the last time I split your wishbone A man could only wish you do the same 'til he get home Fat chance, at least he got snacks That'd have to do 'til a brother get back Until then smack One-Eyed Jack And hope one of his peoples can hook him with a tri-pack That's three different flavors Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry wafers He acting all hard, 'bout to get beat up I'll show him what time it is once I get this sheet up Soon as he fell off the beat down All I hear is, "13th cell put the sheet down" Damn C.O., what the hell does she know? Besides the fact she want her back dug out on the d-low A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen House in the mountains and he stopped drinking again In the wee hours, he's gotten farther Needing three showers, being hot and bothered The wiz with her leg bent, pregnant God bless the day she wondered where her egg went He got the L but it's hard to drink without it And I could use some cookies but try not to think about it Watching "BET" on jazz for knowledge on file Every other commercial, "college hoes gone wild" Soft batch, he prefer the other bunch Like they got for lunch, chocolate fudge butter crunch [Sample of Cookie Monster Eating] [Instrumental Break] Bring it back [Verse 2] Don't mess with the Ritz Bits (No) Wheat Thins, Saltines or Triscuits (No) Matzos or Cheez-Its Catch sugar fits every time that he see a nice pair of Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk Even the Oreos, no matter what weather Always kept 'em dipped in milk and stuck together In the game he's shameless Even uses a code name: Famous Amos Cheaper than a short stay at the Days Inn And good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin Give it up to who invented the camera Never mind the gingerbread man or the Grandma's Shh, make sure she don't wake from her dream chill Or get caught with a handful of cream fill [Interlude] "Cookies" "Ew!" It might seem ill "Go wash your hands! That's nasty." Kookies "Oh ho, cookies!" [Outro: Samples] (UN leader): We shall now vote for a new world leader. I nominate, DOOM. All in favor, say "Aye" (Delegates (In unison)): Aye! (John Jameson): Oh no (DOOM): DOOM, is master of the world (Spider-Man): I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book (DOOM): You've disturbed me for the last time (Ben, The Thing): Hey, y'know something gang, that DOOM ain't really all bad (Sue, The Invisible Woman): What do you mean, Ben? (Ben, The Thing): Well, on account of him I had me a real good time. Y'know, I mean, between you and me I kinda like being black (H.E.R.B.I.E.): Well, maybe if we're lucky he'll attack us once more and send you back, Benjamin (Ben, The Thing): Ah-haha very funny, very very funny (Sue, The Invisible Woman): He must be mad (Dr. Reed, Mister Fantastic): Well, if anyone can do it. Nevertheless let's get out of here, while we can (Misc. voice): Food, we need food