Drunk Uncle Pete

Lyrics

[Intro] Drunk Uncle Pete [Verse 1] Take your Christmas lights down, you lazy bum I look across the street and I see a wreath It reminds me of my old Drunk Uncle Pete (Oh, not again) Take the lampshade off, you're not funny Barf up some turkey from your drunk yummy tummy Try to play poker, but you can't read the cards Lying, cheating, stealing, brain's working too hard [Chorus] Drunk Uncle Pete can't stand on two feet Your whiskey, your shot glass Your forty ounce, you're family (That's right!) Drunk Uncle Pete can't find the door He's cross-eyed and he's mumbling and he's stumbling He's family (Drunk Uncle Pete) [Post-Chorus] Yeah, yeah, yeah Drunk Uncle Pete! [Verse 2] Christmas in the park getting drunk after dark Fourth of July is a pause for the cause Halloween, Spooky Day, Jack Daniel's okay Valentine's chocolate (Nice!) and early times St. Pat day, that's okay First of June drunk again, not a holiday Lost a finger lost a limb, wasn't in the war Let's drink some more! [Chorus] Drunk Uncle Pete can't stand on two feet Your whiskey, your shot glass Your forty ounce, you're family (That's right!) Drunk Uncle Pete crashed his new car DUI now, gotta pay now, out of jail now He's family [Bridge] 12-pack, knock it back, Vicodin, Ambien Last call, alcohol, hurry up, drink it all Checks bouncing, baby crying, glasses empty, liver dying Fast women, cheap cologne, empty bottle, all alone [Chorus] Drunk Uncle Pete can't stand on two feet Drunk Uncle Pete can't stand on two feet Your whiskey, your shot glass Your forty ounce, you're family (That's right!) Drunk Uncle Pete can't find the door He's cross-eyed and he's mumbling and he's stumbling He's family (Drunk Uncle Pete) [Outro] That's right, that's right! (Drunk Uncle Pete) Yeah, yeah, yeah! (Drunk Uncle Pete) Yeah, yeah! (That's right, that's right!)