MTV Get Off the Air, Part 2

Lyrics

[Intro: Samples] "Practically every great leader was a man whose achievements were largely inspired by a woman. When things get tough—and you can count on it, they will—you may be deserted by what you thought were friends. But if you've got a good woman, you'll never be alone" "When I was young, I used to wait On mass'r, and hand him his plate And pass the bottle when he got dry And brush away the blues—" [Verse 1: Paul Barman] A little goon in a locker room Rat-tails, the octoroon He'll be drinking vodka soon And his big brothers are frat guys Whose IQs lose to their fitted baseball hat size Smirkin' jocks with hackysacks In Birkenstocks and khaki slacks I'm the hypest lyricist While they're like, "What type of beer is this?" The liquid is ubiquitous And has such a hold On all the strata, it's just got to be Government-controlled Behind the bottle and the throne Sits an unknown man wiser And bigger for the liquor store The number one franchiser Perhaps George Bush and his sons Are relatives of Anheuser I wanted to get in a pooper hole one day So I invited girls over on Super Bowl Sunday Only one showed up—Princess Superstar [Verse 2: Princess Superstar] Thanks for inviting me over, Let me look around Ooo, the bed post, stacked billfolds Back to back to black dildos Nice hit, kudos Pass the Cool Ranch Doritos I love nachos Put on Fat Joe Nah, that really sucks—let's put on The Beatles Yo, let's check the half time show I hope it's Michael Jackson Singing Satisfaction with Hanson Or Luther Vandross in a sparkling costume With big pants dancin Or maybe I saw that in a Bud Light commercial Speakin' of which, give this bitch A drink quick to wet my lips You got enough cheddar lyin' around this place To fix up my tits As if I need it... [Verse 3: MC Paul Barman + Princess Superstar] Conchetta, please! If you see any chedda' It's cheddar cheese I'm easily great I don't need to be in some sort of Ken Kesey state To create something you can appreciate Who are you talkin' to? Makin' you draw conclusions And superficial distinctions make you go sacre bleu —I can speak French too Suck my nuh-nuh French my cunt Comprenez-vous? Look Pepe Le Pew Let's cut to the denouement You wanna fuck me, I wanna fuck you So it's on— Can I chime in? I'll still be rhymin' When I'm in your hymen I radiate like I was 88 And I'm searching for my lady mate I'm a hunter-gatherer A cunter-latherer My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice Granny's panties moist I do the new when the tried and true fails Plus I'm lookin' fly in my sky-blue tails Now peel off your tube top So I can feel your boobs flop on my lubed cock Socks up to your calf like a chick from The Craft I wanna put on a serrated condom and saw you in half My knees are weak, I need knee-pads You fuck me blind, I can't see, dag! Run me a hot bath add the epsom salt Soak my lower half from your Mortal-Kombat cock-saw Let me head south Put it in my mouth 'Cause I like the taste When I burst in your face I'll invade your personal space I'm like Chase, stick your card in and out Thanks see, look how much stacks of cream are coming out I removed her sanitary napkin with my teeth And there was a planetary backspin underneath I faced her womb Let's do a pap smear with a taster spoon You can sleep on the guest cot I'll sleep in the wet spot [Verse 3: MC Paul Barman + Princess Superstar] I'll be your boyfriend Smooch on your pooper hole All through the Super Bowl Your man doesn't even miss you Glued to the boob-tube, watcha gonna do, dude? I woke up sticky And quickly applied a temporary tattoo to a hickey Went to salt and shake her awake With orange juice and strong coffee cake After we had a bite We pushed the canoe in the lake You don't paddle right Look, a shooting star! It's a fucking satellite Lady, one more complaint And I'll shove a rape-whistle up the Mrs. Va-jay-jay What'd you say?! Listen Slim Shay-day Tell Dre he better fuckin' pay me Your talents are bite-size It's no surprise you rhyme with white guys I jumped in the water What did I want a girlfriend for? Just like you, you jizz on your floor I don't want sweet potatoes anymore I didn't even leave her an oar Did a medium crawl stroke back to shore Who's next to flirt with this exhausting extrovert? I parted some palm fronds Guess who lent me dry long-johns? Uncle Ralph McDaniels He said "what's up Paul Nathaniel Barman Let's get MTV off the air—I deserve my own channel" [Bridge: Samples] [Outro: MC Paul Barman ] MC Paul Barman Came here to make the coolest, funniest, smartest songs with Prince Paul! No, 'cause it's over