Five Ways to Kill a Toon

Lyrics

INTRO (MC LARS AS SMART ASS): Alright, Valiant. I've "disresembled" the baddest crew of weasels... with one sole mission in mind: to dip every toon out of existence. But who am I, you might ask? [VERSE 1 / LARS]: I'm that weasel with the heart of a dragon with a stun gun Make your body hiccup as I hit you with these Dum Dums Try me, I dare them, get Mickey and tear him Limping like Benny, I bang like a snare drum Why? I be on that Tom and Jerry Dip you like a shoe, paint dripping like a berry Smarty the weasel, remember my name Dethrone the mouse from the kingdom he claims I got killers on my squad, you got Goofies Blast you out the sky, I'm a Red Baron Snoopy Oh boy, rodent dip on the menu tonight 'Cause the clock's ticking down on your copyright Bomb in your clubhouse, runaway brain Not a single hit movie that you've starred in, just saying I'm the Toon Patrol's numero uno Holding hands with Minnie as she's crying at your funeral [Chorus] Five ways to kill a toon today In Judge Doom's name they play the game Weasels on a hunt, dip in hand Chasing toons from Toontown land Mickey, Donald, Goofy too Pluto, Chip and Dale, they through Weasels on a hunt coming for you Coming for you [VERSE 2 (JT MUSIC AS PSYCHO)]: Coming after Disney is a doozy But even for a toon, I'm a little loony Looking in my eyes, are you feeling oopy? Because I'm a weasel who can make you woozy And I'm gunning for Goofy, who's he? soon to be missing After the acid in which I'm gonna dip him He's such a halfwit, but I got precision In spite of the fact that my dizziest vision Gets straight out my jacket, I'm gonna be ripping My posse did not give me one bit permission So a razor is all I got But when I give you a trim, I don't miss a spot Like an Acme accident, I watch you plotting Frame your ass like you're Roger Rabbit If you're rooting for Goofy in this war You don't have a dog in the fight anymore [VERSE 3 (SCHAFFER THE DARKLORD AS GREASY)]: You want that sleazy beastie? Easy peasy I'm the weasel in the green suit, call me Greasy When piggies squeezed me, caught a four year pause In Oz, my cellmate was Adebisi Back on the streets, and it's time for beating Goody two-shoe toons with no rhyme or reason Half expertise and half a lot of luck Now it's open season on Donald Duck I'ma gut him, I'ma cut him open with a switchblade I'ma handle this one in a quick way Got a towel? Blood is coming sick thick, wow Waterfowl, who's a stubborn nitwit now? I'll make a pate, but where's the rest of his body go? Maldita sea la madre que te parió Oh, I'm so ecstatic with the violence and havoc I'm having, I might just die laughing (Hahahahaha) [Chorus] Five ways to kill a toon today In Judge Doom's name they play the game Weasels on a hunt, dip in hand Chasing toons from Toontown land Mickey, Donald, Goofy too Pluto, Chip and Dale, they through Weasels on a hunt coming for you Coming for you [VERSE 4 (THE STUPENDIUM AS WHEEZY)]: Hey, who's that coming through a cloud of smoke? Got that smog in me, honest, the amount I toke Got dogs to out-Fox and the Hound to poach Gonna rap against Wheezy? You're bound to choke Hey, Pluto! One half of a Duo! Master leads the cast, but check the past and where were you-o? Overlooked for thirty years, you don't appear, not even drew-o Only came back in the 80s in our film as a cameo Mute mutt! Whassamatta? Cheshire Cat got your tongue? What's the deal, why ya' keeping shtum? 'Cause if YOU'RE a dog – and GOOFY'S a dog... Why you on a leash? What, you playing dumb? Well, it ain't gonna save ya'! Fine, don't believe me? I'll dip both your bitches, Dinah and Fifi Coughing fits as I smoke 'em - now Will your coffin fit when I snub you out? [VERSE 5 (MC SNAX AS STUPID)]: Stupid Weasel, I don't play Not really sure how I got the name What's that? You heard I ain't the sharpest tack? Well, how about the one on my baseball bat? Chip and Dale, my new targets Two for one, that's a bargain I'm hardcore, but you're Mick Foley I'll throw you off the cell into the dip, homie I've never really been one to call out a sellout But y'all did a reboot after you fell out? I'm the crook? Don't make me laugh Think I'm dumb? Here's some math Two little chipmunks running When they see a '37 Dodge Humpback coming Five weasels above the law And that's 48 reasons that I love my job [Chorus] Five ways to kill a toon today In Judge Doom's name they play the game Weasels on a hunt, dip in hand Chasing toons from Toontown land Mickey, Donald, Goofy too Pluto, Chip and Dale, they through Weasels on a hunt coming for you Coming for you