Make Way For Ducklings

Lyrics

[Verse 1] He's a no-exit G In the place to be He goes Stanford University And since kindergarten he acquired knowledge And after twelfth grade he went straight to college Tom's a pop-culture primate with the IQ of a fetus Social IQ twenty-five, you know that I mean this Between his DVDs, clogged arteries, and MP3s He's got this anti-social mental brain disease And I want to break him out show him the world Want to get him blazed, want to get him a girl Want to take him camping down in Ventana Want to enlighten him like the Dalai Lama He'd otherwise know the beauty to be seen Beyond his flat-panel PC LCD screen But would he care? If I too him by the hand Planned on a trip to brain expansion land I don't mean to be a pushy REI creep But you'll thank me when you're chilling six feet deep And the worms and the worms crawl out And the worms play PS/2 on your stout No doubt what I'm about is helping you To lively up yourself like Marley would do And we're picking up more people as we go Introverted sad humans no internal glow We've got to keep driving cars out of our way I've got nascent cargo here on life's highway As precious as small birds straight out the shell Check the chorus, the metaphor explains itself well [Chorus] Make way for ducklings Make way for these introverted ducklings Make way for ducklings Soon they'll be existentialist heroes Make way for ducklings Make way for these introverted ducklings Make way for ducklings Soon they'll be existentialist heroes [Verse 2] OK, quiz time, now that our trip is done You all grew socially learned and had fun Question one: you're in class with a hottie named Sue And one day she walks in and sits next to you [Verse 3] Her shirt says The Sopranos and you dig that show There might be a connection between you two so Do you: A. say "hey, I like your shirt" B. look away outside at the dirt C. send her an email later that day With a link to a fansite you think is okay Or, D. make a joke about HBO's popular uncensored mafia shows And catch Sue's attention with your cultured wit Working it like Matt Groening works it Well the answer is D, obviously Negative points if you said B or C! [Verse 4] Next question lets say you're a dad with two small kids And you're chilling on vacation like your own family did And you go to Boston, because it's fun And you go to the park to walk or run And then you see some birds walking past Not too slow or not too fast Do you: A. say "kids, check it out! Those are mobile, without a doubt" Or B. say nothing and be like "whatever I've seen cooked birds that look better" Or C. toss the birds some candy or fish Well the answer D, and D is this: [Chorus] Make way for ducklings Make way for those migrating ducklings Make way for ducklings Because now you're an existentialist hero Make way for ducklings Make way for those migrating ducklings Because now you're an existentialist hero Make way for ducklings Make way for those migrating ducklings Make way for ducklings Because now you're an existentialist hero Make way for those migrating ducklings Make way for ducklings Because now you're an existentialist hero [Verse 5] Shouts outs to Tomahawk Shouts outs to the Moonies Truck Records is in effect Shouts out to, you Thank you for listening to this song