Song Meaning
The lyrics open with a pervasive sense of desolation, where "All is blue" and the soul feels "soaked through." This isn't just sadness; it's an inescapable state, a profound emotional saturation. The speaker is "running," "howling," even finding that "drugs don't work," signaling a deep, unyielding distress.
Amidst this despair, a defiant claim emerges: "I've a right to a place in the sun / I've earned it." This assertion of worth and earned status clashes sharply with the self-proclaimed identity that follows: "I am a professional / Dependant." This juxtaposition creates a central tension, suggesting a person who believes they deserve more but is trapped in a state of reliance. The internal struggle is further highlighted by the dilemma of whether to "go back" and relinquish a chance or "stand my ground" for persistence.
The phrase "professional Dependant" is a masterstroke of dark irony. It transforms a state of vulnerability into a practiced, almost expert role, hinting at a long-standing, perhaps even perfected, reliance. This dependency, the lyrics reveal, is rooted in "bad love," described as "my one addiction." The speaker candidly admits to trying to "sanctify my affliction," mistaking a "comic Attraction" for genuine passion, which points to a painful self-awareness of their self-destructive patterns.
The power of these lyrics lies in their unflinching honesty and the speaker's complex self-perception. The vivid imagery of "two green eyes / Choking on smoke / Gasping for love" paints a visceral picture of yearning and suffocation, while "Pennies for poison" starkly illustrates the self-destructive cost of this addiction. By framing their dependency as a "profession," the lyrics offer a poignant, almost cynical, commentary on the human capacity to adapt to, and even rationalize, profound emotional struggles, making the listener feel the weight of this deeply ingrained pattern.