Lyrics

Chris: Guess what, ever since the world began Same plot, everyone's been dumping on their fellow man Pounding people they feel better than I hope you're taking notes cause You feel everyone deserves a shot Get real Some of us have got it, girl And some got squat That's the truth, oh honey, like it or not I hate to break it to you My daddy taught me You get no where being nice So now I'm sharing his advice: The world according to Chris is Better to strike then get struck Better to screw then get screwed You'd probably think it's bizarre But that's the way things are (Spoken) Sue: But that doesn't mean it has to be that way! What does it cost to be kind? Chris: Ew, what have you done with my best friend? Billy, tell me, am I right, or am I right? Billy: Trust me I swear There's a dick in every class Not fair Each and every time I fail those losers pass Hey, everyone of them can kiss my ass Chris: You wonder why I love him Billy: One year, there was this good looking guy So queer And on top of that he has a wandering eye One day he looks at me And, huh, bye-bye Chris: I bet he got the message Chris and Billy: We're here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works All: Oh, yeah yeah yeah Chris and Billy: If you don't listen, then you're jerks! All: The world according to Chris is Better to punch than get punched Better to burn than get burned Learn that and you're gonna go far Cause that's the way things are Chris: Ha-na na na na na na na na Ha-na na na na na na na All: Ha-na na na na na na na na Ha-na na na na na na na (Spoken) Sue: Do you believe her? Tommy: C'mon, she's just being Chris Sue: You weren't there. It was awful. We were hurting Carrie! Tommy: Ah, I'm sure it wasn't that bad Sue: Tommy, you don't understand What was just a joke got out of hand We kept on screaming til she hit the floor (Spoken) Tommy: C'mon, everybody was doing it Sue: Hey, I was in there, too What came over me was something new I did things I'd never done before And now I wish there's something I could do or say I've never ever felt this way Tommy: Look, Sue Don't be so hard on yourself You can tell me to keep my mouth shut But, wanna know what I'd advise? Sue: What? Tommy: Apologize (Spoken) Sue: Apologize. Oh, Tommy! That's genius! Chris: Ew, Sue I can tell you're feeling sad All: Boo Hoo! So, we clobbered Carrie and that's too damn bad Chris: This is why you've gotta love my dad All: He's got the right idea Chris: My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below All: Who's below Chris: And now its time I let you know The world according to Chris... (Spoken) Sue: You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all this? Chris: Why are you being such a buzz-kill? Sue: Chris, grow up All: Ha-na na na na na na na Ha-na na na na na na na na Billy: Let's start this party, people! The world according to Chris The world according to Chris The world according to Chris The world according to Chris Chris: (softly) The world according to Chris is Better to whip than get whipped Even if somebody bleeds Please Nobody dies from a scar And that's the way things Are