In the Movies

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Stella Dallas had her dreams She would see her daughter dwell In stately homes and palaces Stella went to all extremes And finally a wealthy fella Showed at Stella Dallas's Stella worked it pretty well But in the last analysis Though Stella's daughter got the swell All Stella got was calluses [Pre-Chorus] It just goes to show that even though Your family tree is bare You still can wind up the intended of A well-to-do millionaire It's so true! It's so real! It has such universal appeal And it proves Mr. Samuel Goldwyn Is nobody's schlemiel [Chorus] If a person treads the path of sin So her daughter can eat quail In the movies, she's a heroine But in Brooklyn, she go to jail In the movies, life is finer Life is cleaner But in Brooklyn, it's a minor Misdemeanor In the movies, when a girl has come From the wrong side of the tracks In a week, she has a wealthy chum Who can buy her presents at Saks You can start with a bagel And wind up with Conrad Nagel On the screen But in life you wind up Right behind a Pillar in the mezzanine [Post-Chorus] Feed the plot to the fish Life is not like the movies make it seem Still, we've got Dorothy Gish— We can lean back and settle for the dream [Bridge] Look what's coming: Valentino! Valentino— Vilma Banky— Lots of sand and Hanky-panky— Ah! Ah! Wearing a purple turban Panting, he holds his hand out He crushes her lips, she shivers and sighs— But wait 'til she tries Picking the sand out Ah! Hey, wake up there Theda Bara You're a long way From the Sahara [Chorus] In the movies, you get kidnapped By a sheik dressed in silk robes On a sand dune built for two, you lie While he gaily kisses your lobes Then he murmurs, "Come, I bid you To my tent" yet But in real life, he says, "Did you Pay the rent yet?" When a girl needs male companionship On the screen she can keep cool She just slouches and extends her hip While she whispers, "Kiss me, my fool!" It's a movie tradition But when I'm in that position I get cramps So I fold my tent and Pay the rent and Leave the vamping to the vamps [Post-Chorus] If you must be like them And you're just getting up a head of steam Never trust MGM Keep your hips in and settle for the dream