The Best Years of His Life

Lyrics

[PAGE, spoken] Ah! The charges against Liza Elliott.  [RINGMASTER, spoken] Thank you. Order in the courtroom! [LIZA, spoken] What is all this? Charges against me? What for? What is all this? [RINGMASTER] Whereas— [ENSEMBLE] Whereas— [RINGMASTER] Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind About the Easter cover or the circus cover Secundus— [ENSEMBLE] Secundus— [RINGMASTER] Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind Whether she is marrying Kendall Nesbitt or not Moreover! [ENSEMBLE] Moreover! [RINGMASTER] Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind As to the kind of woman she wants to be The executive or the enchantress And in as much as— [ENSEMBLE] In as much as— [RINGMASTER] In a world where tumult and turmoil reign These indecisions of Liza Elliott only add to the confusions Of an already, as indicated, confused world Therefore be it resolved— [ENSEMBLE] Be it resolved— [RINGMASTER, spoken] Liza Elliott be brought to trial And be made to make up her mind Introducing that death-defying trapeze artist and prosecuting attorney, Charley Johnson! [CHARLEY] I'm the attorney for prosecution Can't be bought or sold For the jam she's in there's no solution Once the story is told! [ENSEMBLE] He's the attorney for prosecution Flying in to space Will there be an electrocution If he wins the case? [RINGMASTER, spoken] Introducing that thrilling bareback rider and attorney for the defense, Randy Curtis! [RANDY] I'm the lawyer for the defendant Can't be sold or bought Miss Elliott's star is in the ascendant This will come to naught! [ENSEMBLE] He's the lawyer for the defendant Bareback rider, too! Miss Elliott's star is in the ascendant 'Cording to his view [RINGMASTER, spoken] Introducing those merry madcaps and prankish pantaloonatics, the jury! [JURY] Our object all sublime We shall achieve in time To let the melody fit the rhyme The melody fit the rhyme [RINGMASTER] This is all immaterial and irrelevant What do you think this is —Gilbert and Sellivant? [JURY] Gilbert and Sellivant! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! If this is just a sample Then evidence is ample You get your money's worth At The Greatest Show on Earth [CHARLEY, spoken] Your Honor, Mr. Ringmaster, I would like to introduce that peerless witness and lion tamer, Kendall Nesbitt.  Mr. Nesbitt, you are divorcing your wife so you can be free to marry the defendant, isn't that so? [NESBITT, spoken] Yes, sir! [CHARLEY, spoken] You were led to believe the defendant would marry you when, as, and if.  [NESBITT, spoken] Yes, sir! [CHARLEY, spoken] Now she refuses to make up her mind.  [NESBITT, spoken] Yes, sir! [CHARLEY, spoken] You gave her the best years of your life and now she refuses to be your wife! [NESBITT, spoken] Yes, sir! [RINGMASTER] What a show! What a situation! Can you conceive it? If you saw it on the stage You wouldn't believe it! He gave her the best years of his life She was, shall we call it, his mistress? 'Twas only for her he's divorcing his wife And now the man's in distress The mister who once was the master of two Would make of his mistress his Mrs.  But he's missed out on Mrs. for the mistress is through What a mess of a mish mash this is [JURY] But he's missed out on Mrs. for the mistress is through What a mess of a mish mash this is [RANDY, spoken] Your Honor, Mr. RIngmaster.  [RINGMASTER, spoken] Yes, Mr. Bareback Rider.  [RANDY, spoken] I would like to answer the charge just made by the prosecuting attorney.  [RINGMASTER, spoken] Go ahead, I can hardly wait.  [RANDY] She gave him her heart, but not her word This case, therefore, is so much dead wood Her promise to wed he never heard For she never promised she wed would It's just that a change of heart occurred And although it may have dismayed him When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word How on earth can that maid have betrayed him? [LIZA, JURY] Tra-la—I never gave my word She gave him her heart, but not her word Tra-la—This action is absurd This case, therefore, is so much dead wood Tra-la—I loved him from the start Her promise to wed he never heard And then I had a change of heart For she never promised she wed would Tra-la—The rights of womankind It's just that a change of heart occurred Tra-la—Permit a change of mind And although it may have dismayed him [LIZA] When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word How on earth can that maid have betrayed him? [JURY] When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word How on earth can that maid have betrayed him? [RINGMASTER, spoken] Charming, charming! Who wrote that music? [JURY, spoken] Tchaikovsky! [RINGMASTER, spoken] Tchaikovsky. I love Russian composers!